Waiting

I'm learning to be better at being patient, but sometimes that's hard to do. This is one of those times.

I'm recovering from my little "procedure" on Tuesday where the radiologist stabbed me with an giant needle (aka the ice pick) and left a tube in my body. I called the doc who did the procedure on Wednesday morning to ask if my reactions were normal and she assured me the blood and clots coming out with the fluid, and the pain were normal.

She went on to tell me my body is experiencing muscles spasms in protest of the foreign object inserted into it. I'm sure my bowel is not very happy either after being sucked in the drainage tube. As a result, I'm still quite sore, and my stomach and abdomen do a weird cramping/rolling motion every once in a while. She went on to tell me eventually it'll heal and I'll even be able to tug on the port without experiencing any discomfort. I look forward to that day, but I have to be patient and let my body heal.

I'm also quite anxious about the clinical trial. When I talked to Dr. H a week ago Tuesday, he said there were only a few paperwork details to work out and then I'd get a call from the clinical trial nurse. Every day I anticipate the phone call inviting me to Hamilton to discuss the nitty gritty details of the study and get the ball rolling on the tests to see if I qualify. Every day my answering machine yields no such information.

On one hand, the extra time gives the tumour time to grow to the required 1 cm or bigger. But then again, it's also time for the cancer to discover the parents are away from the house and it's time to party. I just don't want to festivities to get too wild so something else gets damaged.

I also need to plan my daughter's birthday, our week of vacation at the end of the month and other activities, which is hard when you don't have a plan and don't know what your future holds. I want a course of action and I yearn to get started!

But I need to be patient. May God grant me the strength to wait.

Tina