I feel sad today. Despite my optimism from yesterday and all the cool things I have planned for this week, this emotion snuck up on me last night and has me feeling tearful this morning.
Maybe it's the rain. Perhaps it's my still-hurting eye. It could be the weight of the whole flipping cancer reality and lengthy recovery situation.
Regardless of the reason, that's how I feel. I'm going to roll with it until it goes away.
Until next time,
Tina
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Another visit from Murphy
A couple of week's ago, I blogged about Murphy's law. This weekend, much to my chagrin, Murphy visited me again.
I have a friend named Murph and I'd welcome a visit from her any time. But what I experienced this weekend is not welcome in my house. These types of events cause headaches, expenses, pain or all of the above.
Extreme agitator
Since London began using smart meters on Nov. 1, Michael and I have been saving our laundry for the weekends, when electricity costs less. Smart meters charge electricity at different rates based on the time of day and season. Consumers pay more to use electricity during times of peak usage and less when many people sleep and on weekends. Hence the big piles of laundry I had in my house Saturday morning waiting for the cheapest electricity rate.
We'd completed two or three loads when Michael knelt down in the laundry room to adjust one of the legs and level the washing machine (a common necessity on the old machine). He rose to discover the knee of his jeans was wet (as was the area rug). We wondered if perhaps water escaped from the machine because it was off balance and optimistically started another load. After a few short minutes, we watched water pour from the front corners of the washer and snake across the floor towards the drain.
Given our washing machine was over 20 years old, we knew the amount it would cost to fix it (if even possible) wouldn't be worth it. Heck, the service call alone would be over $50, without the necessary repairs.
Luckily, we'd completed washing and drying all the bedding in the house so we all had fresh, clean sheets on which to sleep. But we needed a washer! I even contemplated bagging up the remaining laundry and carting it over to my mother-in-law's and begging the use of her machine. Instead we went shopping.
Our choice of washing machine came down to price, features and whether we could load it into our van and cart it home right after purchase. Luckily, we found just that. Of course, the removal of the old washer, which was heavy and the introduction of the new machine, which was even heavier (unbelievably so) was a nerve-wracking experience. It involved removing doors, manipulating stairs, hurt fingers and fears of damaging our floors and/or new appliance. Luckily, my in-laws came over to help.
Now that it's in place, I have to admit I really like it. Being a front loader, it'll end up saving money in water and electricity. Of course, we didn't need the almost $700 price tag this close to Christmas and while I'm off on disability, but there's nothing we can do but suck it up and carry on. Hopefully, I'll notice those efficiency savings quickly (ha ha).
A poke in the eye
On Sunday morning, Michael and I were feeling the effects of our adventurous Saturday. We decided finishing the laundry and cleaning the mess involved in the machine switch would be the extent of our work. This would give us time to rest and recover.
Yet Murphy decided I needed another affliction to contend with - a poke in the eye. While carrying a load of laundry, I walked into a grapefruit tree branch. Since I sport only very, very short eyelashes, they don't protect my eye very well and the spiky branch scratched my eyeball. I couldn't open my right eye for a good portion of the day because bright sunlight hurts it and makes it water. If I had an eye patch, I could be pirate Tina. Argh!
Today, I can leave my eye open most of the time and it only hurts a little, so that's an improvement. But a stick in the eye reflects the luck I've had lately.
Four-leaf clover turnaround
But my cruddy luck is going to turn around this week. I have faith. Besides, I have some good things planned for this week and I'm going to focus on them:
1. Our hot tub arrives on Thursday! We were supposed to get it last week but the snow storms in the west delayed the truck carrying it from British Columbia for three days. So our delivery was pushed out a week. But it comes this week and we can't wait!
2. My daughter is in a play on Tuesday and I actually have the time to go see it.
3. My sister is taking me to my doctor's appointment in Hamilton on Wednesday. We'll talk on the drive, enjoy lunch and maybe do a little shopping around the required visit with the doc.
4. I have lunch plans with a friend on Friday. Yay me!
5. My extended family Christmas celebration is on Saturday (and I already have the gifts bought). We'll enjoy delicious food, tasty wine and most importantly, good company.
This Monday morning, I'm putting the weekend (and parts of last week) behind me and focusing on the good and exciting events happening over the coming week. Yup, I'm a glass is half full kind of girl this morning and it feels good.
Tina
I have a friend named Murph and I'd welcome a visit from her any time. But what I experienced this weekend is not welcome in my house. These types of events cause headaches, expenses, pain or all of the above.
Extreme agitator
Since London began using smart meters on Nov. 1, Michael and I have been saving our laundry for the weekends, when electricity costs less. Smart meters charge electricity at different rates based on the time of day and season. Consumers pay more to use electricity during times of peak usage and less when many people sleep and on weekends. Hence the big piles of laundry I had in my house Saturday morning waiting for the cheapest electricity rate.
We'd completed two or three loads when Michael knelt down in the laundry room to adjust one of the legs and level the washing machine (a common necessity on the old machine). He rose to discover the knee of his jeans was wet (as was the area rug). We wondered if perhaps water escaped from the machine because it was off balance and optimistically started another load. After a few short minutes, we watched water pour from the front corners of the washer and snake across the floor towards the drain.
Given our washing machine was over 20 years old, we knew the amount it would cost to fix it (if even possible) wouldn't be worth it. Heck, the service call alone would be over $50, without the necessary repairs.
Luckily, we'd completed washing and drying all the bedding in the house so we all had fresh, clean sheets on which to sleep. But we needed a washer! I even contemplated bagging up the remaining laundry and carting it over to my mother-in-law's and begging the use of her machine. Instead we went shopping.
Our choice of washing machine came down to price, features and whether we could load it into our van and cart it home right after purchase. Luckily, we found just that. Of course, the removal of the old washer, which was heavy and the introduction of the new machine, which was even heavier (unbelievably so) was a nerve-wracking experience. It involved removing doors, manipulating stairs, hurt fingers and fears of damaging our floors and/or new appliance. Luckily, my in-laws came over to help.
Now that it's in place, I have to admit I really like it. Being a front loader, it'll end up saving money in water and electricity. Of course, we didn't need the almost $700 price tag this close to Christmas and while I'm off on disability, but there's nothing we can do but suck it up and carry on. Hopefully, I'll notice those efficiency savings quickly (ha ha).
A poke in the eye
On Sunday morning, Michael and I were feeling the effects of our adventurous Saturday. We decided finishing the laundry and cleaning the mess involved in the machine switch would be the extent of our work. This would give us time to rest and recover.
Yet Murphy decided I needed another affliction to contend with - a poke in the eye. While carrying a load of laundry, I walked into a grapefruit tree branch. Since I sport only very, very short eyelashes, they don't protect my eye very well and the spiky branch scratched my eyeball. I couldn't open my right eye for a good portion of the day because bright sunlight hurts it and makes it water. If I had an eye patch, I could be pirate Tina. Argh!
Today, I can leave my eye open most of the time and it only hurts a little, so that's an improvement. But a stick in the eye reflects the luck I've had lately.
Four-leaf clover turnaround
But my cruddy luck is going to turn around this week. I have faith. Besides, I have some good things planned for this week and I'm going to focus on them:
1. Our hot tub arrives on Thursday! We were supposed to get it last week but the snow storms in the west delayed the truck carrying it from British Columbia for three days. So our delivery was pushed out a week. But it comes this week and we can't wait!
2. My daughter is in a play on Tuesday and I actually have the time to go see it.
3. My sister is taking me to my doctor's appointment in Hamilton on Wednesday. We'll talk on the drive, enjoy lunch and maybe do a little shopping around the required visit with the doc.
4. I have lunch plans with a friend on Friday. Yay me!
5. My extended family Christmas celebration is on Saturday (and I already have the gifts bought). We'll enjoy delicious food, tasty wine and most importantly, good company.
This Monday morning, I'm putting the weekend (and parts of last week) behind me and focusing on the good and exciting events happening over the coming week. Yup, I'm a glass is half full kind of girl this morning and it feels good.
Tina
Friday, November 26, 2010
Snowflakes
Friends are like snowflakes.
Each one is beautiful and unique.
I saw this very accurate statement on the window at the Starbucks where I met a dear friend for coffee this morning. I loved it and thought I'd share.
BTW - I'd forgotten how energizing spending some time with a friend can be. So thanks M, it was fun and I'm still smiling about our visit.
Don't forget about all the special people in your life. Perhaps it's time to pick up the phone. . .
Tina
Each one is beautiful and unique.
I saw this very accurate statement on the window at the Starbucks where I met a dear friend for coffee this morning. I loved it and thought I'd share.
BTW - I'd forgotten how energizing spending some time with a friend can be. So thanks M, it was fun and I'm still smiling about our visit.
Don't forget about all the special people in your life. Perhaps it's time to pick up the phone. . .
Tina
It's beginning to feel . . .
Ho, ho, Ho!
I was out at Walmart really early this morning to pick up a couple of their Canadian black Friday specials for Christmas gifts. On my way home, I saw a few flakes of snow and then I saw a salter/sander driving down the road. I don't care what the calendar says about Dec. 21 being the first day of winter, for me, it's the arrival of the flaky, white stuff.
Yeah, I know other parts of the country have already experienced a blast from old man winter, but it hasn't hit good old London . . . YET. I have a feeling it'll come soon. Honestly, I'm not ready for it. I'm not a big fan of winter, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
Of course, doing my Christmas shopping only reinforces the feeling of winter. I plan to hit a few stores today so I can cross some items off my list. I've done a lot of shopping online, which is quite handy. But there are some items you just have to go out and see.
Luckily, I feel a bit more energetic today. Yesterday, I was absolutely exhausted. I don't know why. Perhaps I have enough get up and go for a few days and then the energy stores are depleted. So I take advantage of the more energetic days and lay low on the others.
But, today I go out - at least for a little while.
Enjoy your Friday and the weekend.
Tina
I was out at Walmart really early this morning to pick up a couple of their Canadian black Friday specials for Christmas gifts. On my way home, I saw a few flakes of snow and then I saw a salter/sander driving down the road. I don't care what the calendar says about Dec. 21 being the first day of winter, for me, it's the arrival of the flaky, white stuff.
Yeah, I know other parts of the country have already experienced a blast from old man winter, but it hasn't hit good old London . . . YET. I have a feeling it'll come soon. Honestly, I'm not ready for it. I'm not a big fan of winter, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
Of course, doing my Christmas shopping only reinforces the feeling of winter. I plan to hit a few stores today so I can cross some items off my list. I've done a lot of shopping online, which is quite handy. But there are some items you just have to go out and see.
Luckily, I feel a bit more energetic today. Yesterday, I was absolutely exhausted. I don't know why. Perhaps I have enough get up and go for a few days and then the energy stores are depleted. So I take advantage of the more energetic days and lay low on the others.
But, today I go out - at least for a little while.
Enjoy your Friday and the weekend.
Tina
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
A foodie fairy tale
Once upon a time, an culinarily adventurous couple lived in the eastern border of the city of London. They enjoyed a variety of foods, both at home and afar (meaning restaurants in the city and beyond). The woman loved scouring recipe books and magazines for new dishes to create. She took great pleasure in cooking varied foods, trying these new recipes and creating more than a few of her own.
The man loved food. He taste tested all the concoctions with relish, giving each a thumbs up (most of the time) or thumbs down. He eagerly anticipated dinner and the plethora of food it would provide. The woman would savour each creation and decide whether it was up to snuff or determine what needed to change the next time she cooked it.
Meals were rarely boring. A wide variety of ingredients graced their cart at the grocery store. New spices were purchased, local and exotic veggies lovingly selected and tantalizing smells wafted from the pots on the stove.
Then one day, this couple produced two offspring. While their children didn't immediately affect the couple's dining habits, before long, the chants of "Eeewww" and claims of "I won't eat THAT!" grew tiresome. It became far easier to create kid-friendly meals than to turn dinner time into a battle ground.
The woman would sometimes venture outside the usual family menu to encourage the kids to try new foods and provide her and her husband with a taste of the days BK (before kids). Sometimes she'd even create two meals to satisfy both sets of palates.
This restrictive atmosphere lessened the woman's enjoyment of cooking and bored the man. In fact, they reminised just this morning about the meals BK and talked about how they missed the variety. The woman wondered if her children would ever be more open to different foods or whether they'd have to wait until they kids were out of the house before resuming the adventurous repitoire.
It's a sad, but true, tale.
The end.
Tina
The man loved food. He taste tested all the concoctions with relish, giving each a thumbs up (most of the time) or thumbs down. He eagerly anticipated dinner and the plethora of food it would provide. The woman would savour each creation and decide whether it was up to snuff or determine what needed to change the next time she cooked it.
Meals were rarely boring. A wide variety of ingredients graced their cart at the grocery store. New spices were purchased, local and exotic veggies lovingly selected and tantalizing smells wafted from the pots on the stove.
Then one day, this couple produced two offspring. While their children didn't immediately affect the couple's dining habits, before long, the chants of "Eeewww" and claims of "I won't eat THAT!" grew tiresome. It became far easier to create kid-friendly meals than to turn dinner time into a battle ground.
The woman would sometimes venture outside the usual family menu to encourage the kids to try new foods and provide her and her husband with a taste of the days BK (before kids). Sometimes she'd even create two meals to satisfy both sets of palates.
This restrictive atmosphere lessened the woman's enjoyment of cooking and bored the man. In fact, they reminised just this morning about the meals BK and talked about how they missed the variety. The woman wondered if her children would ever be more open to different foods or whether they'd have to wait until they kids were out of the house before resuming the adventurous repitoire.
It's a sad, but true, tale.
The end.
Tina
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Limbo
It's not necessarily a bad place to be, but I feel stuck in limbo.
Chemotherapy treatment is over. My oh-so-frequent trips to the hospital now decrease. I take my Olaparib and monitor the symptoms. I rest and get better. But I feel like I'm waiting for something.
Due to the change in my antacid and the cold I had last week, I still don't feel I have a definitive grasp on the side effects I'm experiencing from the drug - and whether my doc can do anything about them to make my life easier. I'm still experiencing some acid reflex, albeit less. My stomach still gets upset, although it's mostly now in the late afternoon and evening instead of all day. And I still get headaches, but I'm not sure if they're related to the drug or to tight muscles in my back and neck.
While none of these side effects are horrible or debilitating, there are portions of every day when I feel generally unwell. I'm not sure if that will be the new normal for me with the clinical trial drug that may save my life. If that's the case, it's a small price to pay. But living day in and day out with this feeling is a little depressing.
Don't get me wrong, because I'm getting stronger and feel less tired, there are now portions of my day when I feel awesome (and mostly normal). I have to admit, I love those few hours when I don't think about my stomach, throat or tiredness and just do what I want.
Like I said, I don't know if this is how it's going to be or whether something can be done. Maybe the new antacid, Nexium, hasn't completely kicked in yet. Maybe I have an ulcer the Nexium will help heal. Perhaps something else can and will be done. But for now, I'll swallow my pills, keep track of the symptoms, celebrate the great hours and be thankful the side effects are relatively mild.
And I'll wait. I know I may have rushed jumping back into a normal life last year after treatment, and I'm so much more battered this time, so it's probably wise to listen to my body and doctor, and take it slow. But it's hard because I'm in that "what's next" phase and I'm a little anxious to know the answer. Again, I have to call on patience to get me through. I'm sure it'll all fall into place given time.
Tina
Chemotherapy treatment is over. My oh-so-frequent trips to the hospital now decrease. I take my Olaparib and monitor the symptoms. I rest and get better. But I feel like I'm waiting for something.
Due to the change in my antacid and the cold I had last week, I still don't feel I have a definitive grasp on the side effects I'm experiencing from the drug - and whether my doc can do anything about them to make my life easier. I'm still experiencing some acid reflex, albeit less. My stomach still gets upset, although it's mostly now in the late afternoon and evening instead of all day. And I still get headaches, but I'm not sure if they're related to the drug or to tight muscles in my back and neck.
While none of these side effects are horrible or debilitating, there are portions of every day when I feel generally unwell. I'm not sure if that will be the new normal for me with the clinical trial drug that may save my life. If that's the case, it's a small price to pay. But living day in and day out with this feeling is a little depressing.
Don't get me wrong, because I'm getting stronger and feel less tired, there are now portions of my day when I feel awesome (and mostly normal). I have to admit, I love those few hours when I don't think about my stomach, throat or tiredness and just do what I want.
Like I said, I don't know if this is how it's going to be or whether something can be done. Maybe the new antacid, Nexium, hasn't completely kicked in yet. Maybe I have an ulcer the Nexium will help heal. Perhaps something else can and will be done. But for now, I'll swallow my pills, keep track of the symptoms, celebrate the great hours and be thankful the side effects are relatively mild.
And I'll wait. I know I may have rushed jumping back into a normal life last year after treatment, and I'm so much more battered this time, so it's probably wise to listen to my body and doctor, and take it slow. But it's hard because I'm in that "what's next" phase and I'm a little anxious to know the answer. Again, I have to call on patience to get me through. I'm sure it'll all fall into place given time.
Tina
Monday, November 22, 2010
Road trip
I love a good road trip. The kind where you dress in comfy clothes, and pack up a bunch of rockin' tunes, a cooler full of snacks and a good attitude. A real good one lasts many hours, if not days.
I got the road trip urge as I tooled around town on Saturday morning. I ran a few errands to the gas station, library and bank before we headed to Port Franks for the weekend. But as I slipped a Bon Jovi CD into the player, the travel bug bit me. All of a sudden I wanted to fill the tank with gas, grab the GPS and hightail off to parts unknown.
With a road trip, there's not only the joy of the destination, but the sights, activities, food, music and conversation along the way.
Luckily, Michael feels the same way about hopping in the car for long jaunts. In fact, we cemented our relationship with a road trip out west. We'd only been dating a couple months when my beloved little Volkswagen Rabbit diesel blew a piston and was out of commission. Michael and I had both been planning to visit friends in western Canada that summer. With my car woes, he suggested we travel together. After some negotiating about where we'd go and for how long, we were off for 12 straight days together. Although we'd only been together for three months, we got along great and that awesome camping/visiting trip made us both realize we were meant to be together forever.
Now our kids also enjoy/tolerate road trips. Tara went on her first when she was only 10 months old. It was 2002. Michael and I overlapped maternity/parental leave and vacation, packed up our 1978 pop-up tent trailer and went on the road with our four-year old and baby for a month of camping, visiting and site seeing.
On that cool May morning, we started in London to travel across Canada. We went almost all the way to Vancouver via the Canadian route, then drove down through Seattle to Portland and took the second row of states (for the most part) back to London.
We dressed in layers when we left and experienced 100 degree farenheit weather on the way back. We saw the statue of Terry Fox, the corner of Portage and Main, the Rocky Mountains, Mount Rushmore, Craters of the Moon National Park, Old Faithful, good friends, snow, dust, bugs and more. It was awesome.
When my parents escaped to the Florida sunshine for five months every winter, we took advantage of the free accomodation their little trailer provided for a winter holiday. For nine years, we headed down the I-75 to spend two weeks in the warmth of the sunshine state. Except for one year, we completed the trek in 24 hours straight; not only to give us more time to enjoy at our destination, but save money as well. The various states on the drive down offer some varied and interesting scenery (okay, maybe not Michigan and Ohio).
I'm not sure where my next road trip will take me, but despite the urge, I'm not quite ready. My quick Saturday-morning errands left me tired due to my low hemoglobin and the whole recovery process. But one day in the not-so-distant future, I hope we'll gas up the van and grab the GPS to head off on another road-trip adventure.
Tina
I got the road trip urge as I tooled around town on Saturday morning. I ran a few errands to the gas station, library and bank before we headed to Port Franks for the weekend. But as I slipped a Bon Jovi CD into the player, the travel bug bit me. All of a sudden I wanted to fill the tank with gas, grab the GPS and hightail off to parts unknown.
With a road trip, there's not only the joy of the destination, but the sights, activities, food, music and conversation along the way.
Luckily, Michael feels the same way about hopping in the car for long jaunts. In fact, we cemented our relationship with a road trip out west. We'd only been dating a couple months when my beloved little Volkswagen Rabbit diesel blew a piston and was out of commission. Michael and I had both been planning to visit friends in western Canada that summer. With my car woes, he suggested we travel together. After some negotiating about where we'd go and for how long, we were off for 12 straight days together. Although we'd only been together for three months, we got along great and that awesome camping/visiting trip made us both realize we were meant to be together forever.
Now our kids also enjoy/tolerate road trips. Tara went on her first when she was only 10 months old. It was 2002. Michael and I overlapped maternity/parental leave and vacation, packed up our 1978 pop-up tent trailer and went on the road with our four-year old and baby for a month of camping, visiting and site seeing.
On that cool May morning, we started in London to travel across Canada. We went almost all the way to Vancouver via the Canadian route, then drove down through Seattle to Portland and took the second row of states (for the most part) back to London.
We dressed in layers when we left and experienced 100 degree farenheit weather on the way back. We saw the statue of Terry Fox, the corner of Portage and Main, the Rocky Mountains, Mount Rushmore, Craters of the Moon National Park, Old Faithful, good friends, snow, dust, bugs and more. It was awesome.
When my parents escaped to the Florida sunshine for five months every winter, we took advantage of the free accomodation their little trailer provided for a winter holiday. For nine years, we headed down the I-75 to spend two weeks in the warmth of the sunshine state. Except for one year, we completed the trek in 24 hours straight; not only to give us more time to enjoy at our destination, but save money as well. The various states on the drive down offer some varied and interesting scenery (okay, maybe not Michigan and Ohio).
I'm not sure where my next road trip will take me, but despite the urge, I'm not quite ready. My quick Saturday-morning errands left me tired due to my low hemoglobin and the whole recovery process. But one day in the not-so-distant future, I hope we'll gas up the van and grab the GPS to head off on another road-trip adventure.
Tina
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)