Sleeping in

I was supposed to sleep in this morning. As my head touched the pillow last night, a ghost of a smile played on my lips since I knew I didn't have to get up early. It's a PD day and the kids don't have school. This morning, I don't have to repeatedly attempt to rouse them from their beds and remind them to eat breakfast, brush their teeth or take a shower. (These required actions don't change, yet I seem to need to repeat instructions to complete them every single day.)

I heard the creek of the hot tub lid as Michael ventured in for his morning soak. But I burrowed deeper under the warm covers. Then I heard the rattle of his breakfast dishes as he placed them in the dishwasher. Still I was determined to go back to sleep because I know my opportunities to sleep in will be curtailed once I return to work. But my mind decided otherwise. It started racing.

Thoughts swirled through my mind: What's it going to be like when I return to work? I need groceries. When am I going to get them today? Noah has two projects to work on this weekend. I'll have to get him to commit to specific times to focus on those. Oh, report cards are coming up. What will the consequences be if marks haven't improved? What's up for the weekend? Oh, I have to coordinate plans around Tara's sleepover. I should run today. Is it going to be easy or hard? I feel muscles I haven't felt in months.

Once I realized I was more awake than asleep, I knew my dream of sleeping in was over.

Ironically enough, not a single thought of my upcoming appointment with Dr. H entered my mind. Am I in denial? I'd like to think I'm confident my cancer is under control - if not shrivelled up and dead - so I'm thinking about other things in life. Of course, if I'm wrong, cancer will become my focus again. But I'm tired of that, and I'm choosing to believe all will be fine.

So for now (and hopefully long term), I'll stick with the wonderfully mundane and normal thoughs that kept me from sleeping in this morning.

Aaahhh, Saturday, now that sounds like a perfect morning to sleep in. I'll try again tomorrow.

Have a wonderful Friday,
Tina