Sneaky, black ninjas

Shorly after I was diagnosed, I received a surprise package in the mail. My cousin, Margie, sent me a t-shirt to help with the fight. It says, "I'm kickin' ovarian cancer's butt."

I'm wearing that shirt today with pride as I head to Hamilton for round two of chemotherapy. I wore it while during my first fight with cancer, and received many positive reactions from the staff at the cancer centre. But when I went into remission, I felt I couldn't wear it because I'd already kicked it's butt. And then with the reoccurence, the cancer had kicked mine. I didn't feel I could even touch it until now; until I had at least one round of chemo killing chemicals working in my body.

Speaking of chemo, a good friend, who has traveled the cancer journey twice, talked to me about my attitude towards the chemicals this week. She helped me see that while I consider the work they do as ninja-like, I'm still using words like toxic and nasty (and the strength of those feelings intensified over time as I endured each treatment). Even though those words accurately describe what those chemicals are and what the horrible things they do to my body, this friend reminded me I need to think of those chemicals as my friends.

So I'm going into treatment today with a different attitude, hoping it will help my mental well-being. The chemotherapy is the delivery system for my stealty, black ninjas who enter my abdominal cavity and fight the cancer with their razor sharp swords. These determined little fighters damage the cancer cells (and the pain is due to the battlefield bloodshed). The Olaparib gives the ninjas reinforcement weapons with which to damage those eveil cancer cells. With all the damage inflicted, the cancer cells have no choice but to DIE!

As you can see, my positive, cancer slayer attitude has returned and I'm optimistic the process will go smoothly. Oh, I'm not under any illusions the next week  is going to be easy. But I know I can get through it with determination, probably a few tears, some moans, and the support of an amazing husband, kids and village.

I'm not alone. I have my talented, stealthy ninjas and my compassionate, loving support system. How can I not be okay.

Love you all. I'm off to see the wonderful wizards of Hamilton.

Tina