Interesting observations

This trip called cancer is pretty wild. I've noticed a few weird things lately that I thought I'd share.

I've returned to my hairy self
Chemotherapy is both a curse and a blessing in the hair department. I hate losing the locks on my head, my eyelashes and my eyebrows. But I love that my leg, armpit hair and bikini line hair disappear. Last year, my legs were smooth as silk for months, which I loved. When my leg hair returned, it was sparse and finer than it used to be, which I considered a bit of a blessing.

This time was different. While I lost my hair and my eyelashes, I always retained a few stray eyebrows, just for fun. And my legs were never entirely hair free. Every once in a while, if I was so inclined, I ran the razor over them. Once the follicles were allowed to produce hair again, I got lots of it. I'm back to my hairy self. (You'd think I was Italian or something.) I have lots of hair everywhere, just like I did pre-cancer.

Maybe this is a good sign. Maybe the spare hair was a sign the cancer wasn't sleeping or dead. Perhaps I should count this as a blessing that my body can be a hair-making machine once more. While it's a blessing in some places, thick hair is a bit of a curse in others. But then again, there are worse things, so I shouldn't complain.

Nary a thought
You know, there are days when I don't even think about my cancer. I never thought I'd get to this place. I also don't worry about a reoccurence as much as I did during my last remission. Have I given it to God and said, "It's in Your hands?" Am I more confident it won't return? Am I just sick and tired of worrying all the time? Who knows.

I hear the word cancer almost every day in one context or another, but it doesn't carry the same trauma it once did. Of course, that would probably change if I had a reoccurence (which I pray to God I don't) and had to go through treatment again.

The loss
I've lost two friends to cancer in the past few weeks. While they weren't close friends, I think about their passing quite a bit. I have another blogger friend who is going through some tough cancer-related shit right now. I worry about her. I'm sure these things contributed to my mini-mental episode yesterday.

Merci, gracias, thanks
On that note, I want to say thank you for all those who responded with resounding support yesterday. It means a lot to me. I am MUCH better today. I'm more optimistic and my cheerful attitude is back. The sun is shining and it's the weekend.

TGIF everyone. I hope you have a fabulous weekend.

Tina