Little black notebook

While in treatment, I keep detailed notes during doctor's appointments and chemo treatments, and about the medications I take (and when), side effects and even the food I eat. I take my temperature every day and note if I have a bowel movement, recording all these details in a little black notebook.

When Dr. S and Dr W suggested a feeding tube to combat my vomiting issue, I felt compelled to provide more statistical type data to prove such drastic measure wasn't necessary. So I used the information collected in my handy, dandy notebook to illustrate a few facts.

The reality is, I throw up about once every three days. I don't know if the undigested food takes that long to back up and then needs another way to come out, or if I tend to eat something a bit heavier every third day. Regardless of the reason, the pattern continues to this date, and I saw my lovely chicken dinner again last night.

Quite honestly, I haven't felt well for a few days. My stomach has felt crampy and gassy on and off since Saturday evening. Even though I was drained of fluid on Friday, I think I'm also full of all kinds of gas, giving me a round profile and squishing my poor, abused stomach. Or perhaps, my stomach has been upset from the paracentesis procedure itself, from the long needle being inserted into my abdomen to drain the fluid.

My meds also changed on Friday and I now take a different food processing pill (metroclopramide) and Dr. W reduced my dexamethasone dosage, at my request. Although my home care nurse and sister says most people usually react well to metroclopramide, I wonder if it's taking my body a while to adjust to the change.

I just hope it wasn't the wine I drank on Saturday. I finally gave alcohol a go after six months and quite enjoyed sipping on the slightly sweet vintage we picked up in Niagara Falls last weekend. I'd hate to think that simple, yet enjoyable activity, generated a couple of days of stomach upset.

But like everything along this journey, it's a guessing game. It'll take time, and some trial and error to figure it out; if I ever do.

In my strangely, weird way, I'm looking forward to getting my chemo on Friday. I know the taxol is going to generate the more intense side effects, but for some reason, the toxic cocktail (or the big dose of steroids) makes me feel better for at least a couple of days first. And as I always say, I'll feel better about doing something about the cancer rather than letting it fester.

Oh, I should also mention, one of the side effects of the taxol is alopecia, which is hair loss. So I will go bald yet again. But as I told Dr. W, that's the least of my worries and thankfully, the weather is starting to warm up. So my shiny, bald pate will make its appearance in a couple of weeks. I'm not sure bald won't be better than this skimpy, fine hair I comb over to create some semblance of a style right now anyway. At least showering and my morning routine will be streamlined once again. I've got to look at the positives.

My positives today include: The great weather we're going to have, my kids and I are going to the movies, a good friend is coming over for dinner and then we're going to the Look Good, Feel Better program, and I'm on the right side of the grass. It's all good.

Look at your positives for today. I'm sure you've got some to celebrate.

Tina