". . . and when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times, you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt. This is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight."
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
Last week I watched the movie Eat Pray Love. Its promotional trailers spoke to me because I was struggling with cancer, searching to discover meaning in my situation. The goal of the main character was to discover herself and purpose in her life after some disasterous relationships.
While the movie itself wasn't nearly as good as I anticipated (apparently the book is better), I keep thinking about the awesome messages it shared. The quote above is one of those stellar ideas that I think would benefit anyone.
Regardless of what life throws at us, it's our job to find happiness in it. Yes, I have cancer. I've battled it twice and according to statistics, will probably struggle with it again. Yet, I refuse to allow it to control my life or my emotions. I try to be positive and find the beauty in the people and things around me - and in myself.
Sure, sometimes it grabs hold of my ankles and drags me down into the darkness, but my finger nails are broken and bloody with my struggle to make my way back to the top; to feel the warmth and brightness of the sun. I don't want to live my life in a constant state of fear and anger. I refuse to continually ask "why me?" I deserve better than that.
I constantly encourage happiness to grab my ankles and drag me out of the muck of my life, hose me down and let me bask in the contentment and blessings I've been given. Regardless of what life throws at me, I am a lucky woman with many good people and things in my world.
As I keep saying, we've only got one go around in this life and we can't waste it waiting for happiness, fulfillment or a stroke of luck. We have to go out and find it, create it or discover it within ourselves.
What we're living now is not a dress rehersal for life. It is life. Don't continually put off your dreams for the future, for retirement, for a rainy day - live them now in whatever capacity you can.
Michael had an uncle who spent years and years saving for retirement so he could travel and enjoy his time after work. But when he got to retirement age, he fell ill and was unable to realize the dreams he'd saved for all his life. On his deathbed, he warned Michael to not be like him and to enjoy his life at every stage.
Believe me, I know this practise is sometimes far easier to say than do. I often have to remind myself not to put off my dreams. While I may not have the financial means to realize them all (that trip to Australia is outside the budget right now), I can plan little goals to achieve along the way.
But I have to admit, I'm struggling with fear and uncertainty right now, which creates a huge roadblock to living in happiness and realizing dreams. As a result, I'm afraid to plan anything until I know my health situation. I'm living in suspended animation until my CT scan in five weeks. I know this reaction goes against everything I just wrote and everything I believe, but I'm not perfect. I'm just a woman trying to do the best I can.
But to practise what I preach, I'm going to start thinking about goals for the spring and summer. While I may not plunk money down on a trip or book a cottage, I'll be one step closer to shaking off the paralyzing fear and moving toward a goal or two.
Here's hoping you're living your dreams and enjoying the day.
Tina
That movie was a huge disappointment! But it did have a great message, I agree. I love your outlook-- maybe you'll get there mentally in time. It's still a fresh wound that needs to heal. Keep dreaming big and making your way towards your goals! XO
ReplyDeleteTina, this is a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing your perspective--and feelings--so openly.
ReplyDeleteTina, I have not seen this movie, maybe I'll just go for reading the book. You deliver a great message in this post and you deliver it with honesty. Living life exactly the way we want isn't easy. What's important to remember is that you are trying! That's what counts. No need for perfection, so don't beat yourself up. You're doing alright as far as I can tell. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Tina.
ReplyDeleteI have read the book and seen the movie... the book was richer,but the movie had it's own kind of value. I began reading the book as a long-term boyfriend completely violated my trust in him and it was like a key to another future.
ReplyDeleteMy recommendation if you think you don't have the money, stop thinking in those terms. Set small goals and reach them and let the money (or more importantly the resource) come to you to make the dream happen. As you achieve more and more goals, it becomes like a magnet for more...and more success.
Don't let the full exam be your marker in the sand... make plans, do things and when you arrive at the exam, perhaps you will have already gotten even bigger plans moving and the statement of intention is "Every little cell is healthy and well..."