Breathless

I'm a wee bit worried about whether I'll be able to get my chemo this week. I can feel I'm not recovering as quickly and I'm not as strong as I should be by this point in the cycle. Over the last couple of days, I've felt slightly unwell, tired, shaky and, well, off.

This morning, exertion left me breathless. Walking up and down the stairs had me panting. I had to sit on the toilet and rest after my shower (for goodness sake!) to recover. My breathing is quicker and a little more laboured today. I have a headache. I know it's all because my hemoglobin is low and my body isn't circulating oxygen very well. In other words, I don't have enough red blood cells.

If my hemoglobin is too low, I can't have chemo. Instead, and if my levels are too low, I'll need a blood transfusion. Last time I got one, I needed a few days for the blood to circulate and help me recover before I could proceed with my treatment. That delayed my treatment by a week. It'd be so disappointing to have to postpone again. I just want to get the next round of chemo in so I can keep kicking cancer's butt. So I desperately hope my levels aren't as bad as I think.

Then again, I don't want to jeopardize my health, so I will do what I have to do. If my levels are low and it's dangerous to get treatment, I will listen to the docs and follow their instructions.

Today, I rested, rested and rested some more. I lounged around in bed, reading, writing and dosing. My plans for the evening involve encouraging Michael and Tara to make dinner. I have appointments and events scheduled for this week - some of which are optional - that I will assess whether I attend each day. I don't have any control over how quickly my hemoglobin recovers. There's no magic food I can eat nor vitamin I can take. My body has to create more hemoglobin on its own over time (or I'll need to become a vampire again and get that transfusion). But I figure resting because I don't feel well certainly can't hurt.

Hopefully, my body will experience a sudden turn around and I'll bounce back one day this week. My appointment with Dr. W and blood tests are on Thursday, so I still have a few days to recover. Chemo is scheduled for Friday and my fingers (and toes, legs, eyes and everything else) are crossed I can proceed as scheduled.

Tina