Rooting for one

I just got home from seeing the doc in Hamilton. All looks good with me, except my hemoglobin is one digit shy of the minimum required by the clinical trial protocol to get chemotherapy. Now, I have two days to get that number to rise - and I'm confident I can.

Being dehydrated can raise the levels because the blood isn't as thinned out. So I'll try not to drink much tomorrow evening and then have nothing in the morning before my blood draw at 8:30. Yup, I need to present myself to the lab half an hour before my scheduled chemotherapy time slot to have blood drawn again.

Before my last treatment, I increased my hemoglobin by five points (or whatever unit of measurement it uses) in two days, so I'm sure I can raise it one measley point by Friday morning.

I think I may dine on red meat and consume a dehydrating beer on Thursday night to add protein and well, beer, to my body. I'm going with the notion that beer has some magical properties because I drank two the last time I needed to increase my HgB and it rose significantly. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

On the positive side, I don't need a blood transfusion, I don't need to stick myself with a drug via needles to increase my hemoglobin and my treatment isn't delayed. Yay! And then we only need to worry about the last chemotherapy.

Although, if my tumour isn't gone, my doc and I need to discuss options that may include additional chemotherapy treatments. I don't even want to think about that possibility now because the idea depresses me. But I asked the question, "What if the tumour isn't completely gone at the end of the six treatments." To which he replied, we could go off the clinical trial drug and have a couple more rounds of chemo (which is what he'd normally recommend to those who aren't part of a study) or go on maintenance and see if the Olaparib further reduces the tumour, which is part of its function. Sigh.

So I can't plan anything. I can't even get my hopes up this may be my second last treatment. It's truly a test in patience, taking one day at a time and accepting whatever comes my way. It's tough, but I'm mentally better able to handle this approach this time around (rather than during my first experience with cancer).

Now physically, that's another story. On days like these, when I'm feeling good, I feel I can do anything. But when I'm in the throes of the side effects, I sometimes wonder how I can get through another two rounds, let alone the potential for more. But, I'll do what I have to do.

I believe we're all stronger than we think. My stamina and resolve are just being put to the test. Good thing I have broad shoulders.

Tina