Response able

I went to school on Friday, and technically I should have received a detention for talking way too much. I attended parent/teacher interviews, and while I did discuss my kids' progress, most of the time was dedicated to other interesting subjects.

As every worthwhile trip to school should provide, I walked away with a few good learnings:

Being response able
My daughter's teacher passed along a message he learned at church. As human beings, we need to think about how we can be responsible (response able). How are we able to respond to those around us? While he specifically talked about volunteering - and not just around Christmas time, but in January when the charities really need help - I've been thinking about what response able means to me.

There are so many responses we can provide to make life a little better/easier/happier for others. While there are the obvious and very important ones of donating food, clothing or money and/or volunteering time to help those less fortunate, there are also little acts we can incorporate into our every day life to create a better world.

I know it always makes me feel good when I get a geninue compliment on something I've done well or how I look. Words can so easily provide sunshine to a person's day, when used generously, yet cost us nothing. Encouraging compliments are especially important for kids. I once learned a very valuable phrase that I try to regularly incorporate into my parenting: Try to catch them doing something right.

Spontaneously offering assistance to those who need it is another way to be response able. Helping a physically challenged or elderly person navigate an icy sidewalk, reaching an item on a tall shelf for a short person (like me!) or picking up the papers a colleague accidentally dropped. It's easy to walk by others who could use a hand, but it creates a good feeling to offer help.

Sometimes these little ways of being response able are called random acts of kindness. Shoveling a neighbour's driveway, letting somone with a few grocery items go through the checkout before your cartload or tossing a few coins into the guitar case of the busker in the subway can mean a lot to the recipient of our actions.

Little everyday choices can also make a big difference: our tone of voice, our driving habits, whether we hold the door or elevator for others, etc.

Credit where credit's due
Yesterday, I also learned we need to give ourselves more credit for the actions we do right. While we can be response able, we don't have to take on the entire burden of another's situation. For example, we can provide a batch of freshly-baked muffins to a recently widowed neighbour, but we can't feel compelled to take on all his sadness and responsibility. Be proud of the kindness and don't feel guilty for circumstances outside our control.

I've been on the receiving end of such kindness, and everyone who's helped in any way deserves a big pat on the back and a thank you. You've made a difference. But you can't be expected to take on my cancer fight. I'd never expect that of anyone.

Everybody has a story to tell
Another valuable lesson reinforced yesterday is everyone has a story. Everyone's life is interesting, we all have challenges and sometimes a sympathetic ear can make a big difference.

A good conversation requires give and take, talking and listening. Yesterday I had two really good conversations with two very different and interesting people.

My kids are lucky. They have teachers who are not only great educators, but wonderful people. That's why I ended up talking to them for about three hours yesterday (yup, detention for me). For me it was time well spent. I walked out of there with some wonderful lessons and a big smile on my face. It was an awesome way to start the weekend.

Tina