It's what you make it

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. 
     ~Janice Maeditere

This morning, as I sat in the hot tub, I turned my day around by thinking about all the wonderful things for which I'm thankful. It helped. I've been in a sad and grumpy mood, and I knew it was up to me to change it.

Last night, I was angry and sad after my little baking extravaganza. Even though I greatly reduced the number of treats I made, the experience left me hobbling and with a terrible abdominal pain. I broke down in tears and sobbed in Michael's arms. I was furious at the injustice of this stupid disease.

This morning, I woke lacking Christmas spirit. Quite honestly, I'm still angry, worried and sad. But I didn't want the holiday to simply slip by without joy in my heart, so I stopped and wondered how to improve my mood.

Then I remembered what I've always believed, Christmas is what you make it. It's about opening my heart. It's about recalling the reason for the season: the birth of Jesus. It's about giving, not receiving. It's about being with my family and friends. It's recalling the generosity of others.

So I sat in the swirling warm waters and remembered:

- I'm alive and kicking, here to celebrate.
- I'm an Olaparib girl. I got chosen to receive the potentially life-saving drug.
- My mom's surgery, chemo and treatments went well and she's in remission.
- The hot tub helps Michael's ankle and reduces his stress level, which improves his health. (Even though he admits he's really worried about me).
- Oh, and then there's the hot tub.
- The generous friends and family who are still supporting us. Wow!
- That Noah's now in the mental health medical system and has a social worker to help with his anger management issues.
- Tara is a sweet, giving, 9-year old girl who is turning into an excellent horse rider.
- The next few days are going to be filled with good food, tasty beverages and excellent company.
- Did I mention the hot tub?

When I went grocery shopping this morning, I hummed as I strolled down the aisles. I smiled at others in the store. I wished the cashier a Merry Christmas. I turned the day around in my mind and I am going to do my very best to make it an awesome day.

I hope you have a very merry, blessed and fun-filled Christmas. (Remember, it's what you make it.)

God bless,
Tina