Calling all angels

I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to be positive these days. While I want to live my life with hope, happiness and positivity, those emotions have been evading me lately. I need to recapture them. I need to soak up the joy of every day and live it. But it's SO hard.

While I like my job and the project I'm working on, it's sucking up so much energy. The timelines are short, the details change every day and I feel very responsible (along with my fellow project warriors) for it all. Unrealistic? Yes. Atypical of me? No.

But when my right eye starts to twitch, I have work dreams, and I wake with a headache and that tight, squeezy feeling in my chest, the stress is too much. I didn't work last night and I'm trying very hard to adopt a different attitude today. It's not going so well yet. I'm really worried about my health (duh) and I argued with Noah three times this morning about showering thoroughly (so he doesn't smell) and cleaning his room. It was very frustrating.

Michael's work situation is equally stressful right now with departments moving out of the hospital and the impending postal strike. As the shipper/receiver, he's crazy busy right now. I know he's also really worried about me and what our future may hold. So we're both wound up a little too tight right now, with frazzled nerves and shortened fuses.

In my quest to acheive balance and listen to positive messages, I've been drawing angel cards each morning. I'm calling on the guidance of God and his angels to help me find balance. Some of the cards I've drawn over the past two days interestingly provided me with positive messages.

Archangel Raphael - He's one of the big two, along with Archangel Michael. Raphael's name means "God heals" and he's the heavenly, healing angel who oversees any health concerns. He jumped out of my deck while I was shuffling yesterday, which means I was supposed to get his message and then I drew him today. I'm taking his presence in my draw as a good sign that my prayers to get better are being heard. How that will manifest has yet to be revealed, but I believe in the message.

Visualize success - "See yourself doing well in this situation and have faith in a positive outcome." Of course, my focus during my card sessions is cancer and beating it. I drew this card yesterday. I'm sure it's telling me to be positive, think positive, believe in the positive. I'm trying and hopefully I'll get there soon.

Ascended masters - "Powerful, loving and wise spiritual teachers are watching over and guiding you." Excellent! The guidebook accompanying the card describes the ascended masters as powerful teachers and healers who once walked the earth. These include: Jesus, Quan Yin, the saints, Moses, Mother Mary, Ganesh and so forth.

Cancel, clear, delete - "Use only positive words and thoughts, as they're rapidly manifesting into form. Ask the angels to cancel the effects of past negative thinking." The guidebook asks, "Have you been complaining or worrying lately?" Of course I have. "The angels are asking you to be more aware of what you say, think and write about yourself." I'm supposed to catch myself saying something negative and then stop and sweep my hand at the wrist to push the energy of my words away from me. At the same time, I'm supposed to say, "cancel, clear, delete," like rebooting a computer.

While this sounds easy, it's a real challenge for me given everything that's happening. I'm not in a good mental space and part of me thinks I need to experience what I honestly feel as part of this journey. But on the other hand, the angels are telling me to get rid of the negative thoughts. I'm sure doing so will improve my mood and alleviate some of the stress. It may also allow me to enjoy each day more, which is my goal. So I'm going to try it. It certainly can't hurt.

I believe in the angels and wish I were better and stronger at listening to their messages. Like an fallible human, I can only do the best I can.

Tina