The road less traveled

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost

This quote hangs in one of the examination rooms in the Hamilton cancer centre. It aptly describes my situation. As one participating in clinical trial(s), I join the minority who take a less-than-conventional approach to cancer treatment. I consider myself lucky to have the option.

Let's hope it makes all the difference.

But this path, this journey with cancer isn't smooth. The road I'm currently traversing dropped suddenly with the reoccurence news and I'm now looking at a steep climb - and the road looks bumpy. But I sense this ascent, with it's slippery twists and hairpin turns may be shorter than those I've navigated in the past. Once I reach the peak, I hope to find a long, gradual, smooth road with some beautiful scenery and temperate weather.

Yes, I'm still experiencing the negative emotions of disappointment, anger, disillusion and annoyance. I have every right to focus on these bad emotions because the cancer is coming back.

But this morning, my thoughts are turning to the ways I'm fortunate. The Olaparib worked and shrunk my tumours. The cancer hasn't spread to any other organ or into my lymphatic system. I have a good chance of qualifying to get this clinical trial drug with its ascities drying and tumour stabilizing benefits. I still have options and I feel pretty good. I have an amazing husband, family and friends.

Sure, I'm tired. Yes, I feel bloated and my back is sore (even more so now that my mind registers every little discomfort as cancer side effects). But it's the Canada Day long weekend, the sun is shining and we're alive to enjoy it.

Make the most of it.

Tina