Breathe

The hoopla surrounding Margaret and Dennis' wedding is dying down and I've discovered I'm exhausted. After working more than full tilt for a few weeks, visiting with the relatives from overseas and all the wedding activties, I'm worn pretty thin.

Throw in the usual kid activities, more visits with the relatives who are still here and the underlying stress of wondering what will happen with me, and I feel as though I could crawl in my bed to sleep for a week. It helps that most of these activities are fun, but I only have so much energy. Luckily, it'll all wind down soon.

In a way, this hyperactivity has been a blessing because I haven't had much time to think about what could be happening in my body. Every so often, in the quiet of a soak or while lying in bed, I'll contemplate my future and what it holds, but otherwise, I'm just too darn busy.

I've also put some added pressure on myself. I feel I have to fit in fun and adventurous activities before my CT scan on June 28 - when my world could change yet again. But when? I need to get rid of the "should" attitude go with the flow. I need to enjoy the baby shower and stag and doe planned for this weekend and then anticipate my son's grade 8 graduation. I need to relish the visiting and any captured quiet time with a book.

Sure, I'd love to squeeze in that whitewater rafting trip I talked about last fall, but if thinking about scheduling it induces anxiety, it may not be worth the adventurous fun it would provide.

Deep breath and do what I can.

Breathe.

Tina