1/12

The first batallion of lethal, black ninjas got the green light yesterday and were infused into my body. They're sneaky warriors, hiding in the two bags of clear chemotherapy fluid. Now they're lurking in the shadows in my abdomen, of which I'm sure there's many, and sneaking up on those rotten tumours to eradicate them. I hope this first army of super soldiers is large and strong enough to distract the cancer enough so it doesn't have time to produce ascities.

Yesterday's infusion went surprising well. In comparison to the six-hour days I used to endure, my approximately three hours at the cancer centre - waiting, paperwork, set up, infusion, etc. - felt short and sweet.

With the carboplatin/paclitaxel combo I previously received, the paxiltaxol took three to four hours alone to drip into the IV. Then I had to have additional drugs to prevent reactions to it. I got Dexamethasone, Rininidine and Benadryl via IV before the chemo drugs were even started. And because I had an adverse reaction to the taxol on the first dose, the rate of infusion was slowed too. When I had this chemo combination, it was necessary to pack a lunch, drinks, snacks, cards, book and patience.

But with the Carboplatin/Gemcitibine chemo I received yesterday, the IV consisted of saline, Gemcitibine for 30 minutes, saline, Carboplatin for 1 hour, saline and done.

It was also easier because I have a PICC line. No rooting around for veins to cooperate. And because I've had lots of trouble drinking lately, I'm sure I'm dehydrated, which shrinks veins more. So if the nurse would have had to thread a vein for the chemo, I'm sure it would have been an ordeal and involved multiple stabs.

In addition, when the patient has a PICC line, the Gemcitibine doesn't have to be mixed with saline to lessen it's harshness on the veins. So I got the straight drug, which was quicken infusion too.

It was also much quicker to have this treatment done in London instead of Hamilton, which is an 1-1/2 hour drive away. We live a short 20-minute drive to the London cancer centre, so it's in for the chemo and out to do something else with the rest of the day. Not that I really did anything too exciting because I was tired. I laid down but unable to sleep because I was wired from the steroids. Weary but wired seems to be the main side effect so far.

It's ironic, but last night I told Michael I felt better than I had in about a week. I don't know if it's the steroids calming the nausea and making eating a bit easier or the removal of the drainage tube, which I seriously think was starting to make me feel really bad. I'd also like to think the chemotherapy is already starting to work, but that's optimistically unrealistic.

Unfortunately, my belly is swelling with fluid accumulation. It's quite visible now and could get to be a problem. But hopefully, those ninjas will work really quickly and only one (or none) paracentisis draining will be necessary. Of course, I'll keep an eye on it, because it's gets extemely uncomfortable and is hard to hide.

In those first few seconds upon waking this morning, I felt great: No pain or discomfort. But once my body fully awoke, I noticed a slight headache and some minor stomach pain. I also still feel tired despite a decent night's sleep. But if that's the extent of my side effects right now, I'm rocking. But I suspect, I'll feel some more as the day(s) truck on.

Since this is an entirely new chemotherapy for me, I don't know what side effects to expect. I also don't know which I'll still have because of the carboplatin, which also made up part of my last treatment. Will I become a super sniffer again? Will I produce the most smelly, room-clearing farts imaginable? Will Bitchy Tina make an apperance from the steroids I'm taking, even though the dose is much smaller? Will I sink into a deep, dark well? I don't know. And these are the experiences that don't appear on the side effects sheets themselves. I wait and see.

I do know I'll feel tired and will be susceptible to outside infections. To me, that sounds like a great reason to do little cocooning with some books, my bed and a big bottle of hand sanitizer.

I want to say thank you to everyone for all your messages with good wishes yesterday. It's awesome to know I have the support of so many people who love me.

Tina