Ka-chunk

The laces slipped through my tenuous grasp and the shoes clattered noisily on the floor yesterday. I felt awful - shaky, stiff and sore, with flu-like symptoms and a wicked headache. Yup, the other shoe dropped.

Yesterday morning, I had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon who supervised my care during my stint in the hospital and it was all I could do not to cry while waiting in the cancer centre. I was that uncomfortable. When I did see him, it was for five minutes. He said the appointment was to ensure I didn't fall through the health care cracks and assure me I can see him again, if need be. Great. Thanks. Then I went home to bed, where I spent most of the day.

I'm sure I'm feeling so crappy because I'm getting dehydrated. I can't drink much and my body isn't really able to process much food. Even though I had a Boost in the morning, some soup at lunch, a Gatorade-type drink throughout the day and an Ensure at night, I threw it all up last night. I'm quaffing back the anti-nausea medication, but they don't cut it like the steroids. But I'm afraid to take the steroids (and my prescription is done anyway). As well, the ascities is building and pressing on my abdomen, which allows little movement in my poor tummy.

Things should improve once the chemo attacks the tumours and the ascities, but I'm so damn tired of waiting to feel better. Hurry up already! Of course, I'll mention all these happenings to Dr. W when I see him next. He may have some great idea for making things easier on me in the meantime.

If this round of chemo is any indication (and there's no guarantee it is because of all my other complications), days 3 and 4 seem to be the worst ones for side effects. I feel better today with only a headache, stiff neck and back, and bloating pain from the ascities as my main complaints. My goal today is to rehydrate myself with Gatorade and supplements, and not worry so much about eating. As much as I love it, food is not my friend right now.

Then on Thursday, I'll go get another cancer-blasting dose of chemo. Hopefully, each one will make me feel better and move me towards my goal of beating this stupid disease.

Tina