C day - next Thursday

I got the phone call yesterday and my first chemo treatment is next Thursday. Woo hoo! (Although it seems kind of odd to be so excited about having toxic chemicals injected into my body.)

I asked for Monday or Friday, but because of the Remembrance Day holiday, appointments are backed up. So, my first treatment will be next Thursday, with subsequent ones on Fridays. Why the day-of-the-week request? Because I know from experience I generally feel okay for two days and then fall into a black hole for a few days, where I experience the pain, lethargy and disinterest. When taking steroids to combat nausea, "Bitchy Tina" makes an appearance on about day five post-treatment. If my chemo is on a Friday, those black days fall on weekdays, when I'm alone most of the time. I can moan as much as I want without worrying others and don't have to make an effort be civil. It takes enough energy just to deal with the side effects, let alone feel as though I have to step up and be social.

As for the chemotherapy drugs I'm going to receive, the decision is still up in the air. When I wrote my blog yesterday comparing the carboplatin/paclitaxel treatment versus the carboplatin/gemcitibine one, I noticed I was emphasizing the good things about Gemcitibine - less toxicity, less nausea = no need to take steroids, not losing my hair (yes, vain Tina is talking here) - and I wondered why I wasn't choosing that option if the effectiveness statistics tend to be about the same.

Then my sister, smartie pants that she is, asked a good question, "If I take the paclitaxel again and this is the last time it's effective, won't that exclude me from future clinical trials that involve this chemotherapy drug?" There's no guarantee it will stop being effective if I do receive it, nor is there a promise it will work this time. I was contemplating calling Dr.W yesterday afternoon when he called me. Fortuitous timing for me because getting through to the right person at the cancer centre can be a challenge. We talked through Angie's question and again contemplated the pros and cons of each drug. I'm also meeting with him this afternoon, where we'll determine which chemo I'm going to start next week.

I'm heading to the cancer clinic again today to provide some of my ascities for the Translation Ovarian Cancer Research Group to use for its research work. I'm more than happy to give them as much as the researchers want and hope using it in studies leads to interesting discoveries. What's vile to me is valuable to them. And I'll do whatever I can to facilitate research or raise awareness of this awful disease.

Speaking of awareness, the Run for Ovarian Cancer got some media coverage at the cheque presentation last week. As we work towards the $1 million goal for the 2012 run, awareness of the event and the disease is extremely important. As a survivor, I was interviewed and quoted in the article. Yup, it's part of my 15 minutes of fame. While I would have preferred to be in a situation where I'd talk about more pleasant subjects (perhaps me winning the lottery or becoming a famous author), I guess I'm destined to use these 15 minutes to talk about ovarian cancer. If it helps fund research or make more people aware of the devastating nature of this silent stalker, it's the least I can do.

Tina