I wanted to explain how difficult it was for me to write my blog yesterday; just as I'm sure it was challenging to read it. I struggled with what to say and needed to journal about it before I could let my fingers skip along the keyboard. I didn't know exactly I should say, how much to share and how honest to be, because I know some of the potential scenarios could mean repercussions in my future. But in the end, I decided I needed to share my truth, as I see it right now.
I hope I'm wrong. I hope my the picture of my future is a lot brighter than the dull and muted tones I used in with the words I used yesterday. Or I hope the hues are brighter and more vibrant for times before the greys and browns start to invade the landscapes. I guess I'm struggling between being realistic and being hopeful. It certainly doesn't mean I'm clairvoyant. While I can guess about some of my future, I cannot pretend to know exactly what it holds. I don't even know what awaits me just around the corner.
In fact, my stomach is starting to feel a bit better. I'm almost afraid to type those words for all to see, but I've noticed a slight change over the past few days. Let's just saying, I'm being cautiously optimistic.
Sometimes when I write, it's scary for me to hit the publish post button. Yesterday was one of those days. Just thought you should know.
Tina
Tina..your bravery and honest continues to amaze every blog post I read. All any of us have is the present and the future is just a premise that we can only hope, or fear, to achieve. None of us know what lies before us - the subtleties of all of our energies ebbs and flows. I thank you for sharing your journey with us, and the world because we all can learn from the words you write. Stand strong my friend and keep the faith. x Michelle
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more Michelle. Tina, your honesty and candor in the face of all that you are going through is one of the reasons that we love and respect you. This blog serves as an update to everyone on how your doing, and in stark reality you're not doing so great right now. That's a tough thing to write and to admit. It's also a tough thing to read not because we don't care but because we do care. We all desperately want you to be better but right now that's not within our control. So all we can do is pray, pass postive energy your way and hope for a better day ahead. Please keep writing the tough stuff Tina, you need to write it and we need to read it. Dorothy
ReplyDeleteDorothy and Michelle, well said. I couldn't agree more...I know sharing your experience has helped and reached out to alot of people. Thank you for being so honest and brave to write aboutit. Stay strong and positive...
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