It's Tuesday. Tuesdays after chemo are usually never good. Today seems just a little bit better than previous weeks. Perhaps the anti-depressants have finally kicked in and are preventing the giant drop into the basement of depression. I feel lethargic, tired, have no energy and no ambition, but the overwhelming feeling of heaviness isn't weighing on me - at least not right now. And I hope it stays away.
Quite honestly, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop; for the bigger side effects from the larger dose of taxol on Friday to kick in. I'm waiting for the bone pain. I'm anticipating the depression. Yet, so far, with naps, rest and lots of anti-social behaviour, I seem to be doing relatively okay. My poor family suffers from these reactions, but they continue to be incredibly understanding.
Hopefully another day or two of this lethargy and I can come back out into a world that's interesting and captivating - and I can stay there for a couple of weeks before having to do it all again. I just want some time to live between fighting and that's what me and the doc are striving for now.
So I'm biding my time until I once again enjoy the sunshine with which we've been blessed. One day at a time.
Tina
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