A little less mental

Mentally, I think I've recovered as much as I will - or at least until the anti-depressants reveal their full power and the chemo completely clears from my system. Physically, I'm still a bit shaky, weak and tired. Perhaps my blood counts are low. Regardless, it makes me slower and less able than I'd like to be. Especially since I'm going on a trip tomorrow.

I'm a little (okay very) anxious about my compromised state and travelling. But I'm sure my sister will be there to help me get to where I need to be and get me a ride on one of those airport carts, if necessary. She assures me we can take it slow. I can rest a lot and naps won't be a problem because she's got lots of things she can do while I rest (she's got some work to do too).

I say my mental state seems to be recovered as much as it can because I've noticed it's been less than stellar since I started the taxol treatment. Usually I have a quick mind and good memory. I don't have the same ability to concentrate as I did. It makes conversations, reading, doing chores, engaging with others a bit more challenging and I seem to drift. It doesn't help my family either, especially when working with my kids on their homework or having conversations with Michael. It's also somewhat boring to my poor mind because it's not engaged. But then my mind chooses not to be engaging. Does that even make sense? In my poor befuddled brain, it does.

But I am what I am right now and this is who's headed to Myrtle Beach tomorrow. I have no big expectations and I'll do what I'm able. Luckily, I also have a very understanding sister who appreciates I'm in the middle of a pretty big fight and it's taking its toll. So we'll do what we can and enjoy the feeling of sand between our toes as we soak up a little bit of South Carolina sunshine.

Tina