Just because I'm dying doesn't mean I'm dead yet. Not that I've been doing all kinds of exciting things, but they've been enjoyable non-the-less.
I've been doing lots of visiting (don't stop or feel I'm getting too tired to receive visitors). I love seeing everyone, visiting and reminiscing.
Yesterday I went to my sister's again to swim in her pool and lounge around on her deck. Unfortunately, the wind was just a little too nippy and I decided to forego the pool. But I had a lovely visit with my sister, parents and cousins. If I continue to feel well and manage to keep a drainage port out of my belly, trips to my sister's may be in my weekly plans. Hopefully next time the weather will be hot, hot, hot and I'll enjoy dipping in the refreshing waters.
As for a health update, I feel about the same, if not a bit better. I've had more bowel movements and managed to eat more food. So that's all good. I am getting used to the Fentanyl patches slowly releasing their pain meds into my system because I don't seem as dyslexic and slow as before, both in writing and speaking.
Yesterday though I fell down. My legs got weak, gave out from under me and I went down on my sister's pool deck. It was extremely embarassing and made me cry. I've noticed I've been getting weaker over the past few weeks and Michael says I'm unsteady on my feet; but to collapse unexpectedly shocked me. It's a sign to me the disease is taking over in small incremements.
I'm also still sleeping a lot.
I'm also still struggling with how to create memorable moments with my kids. At 14, Noah wants to play on his computer and hang out with his friends. Tara, at almost 11, wants to play with friends. These are not the ages where it's cool to hang out with your parents. I want to do things with them, but struggle with what will be fun, what will they remember and what won't be lame. So we're talking about a couple of events we can do with the kids. Of course, heading to the beach and my sister's, the drive, the listening to stories in the car and the conversations are all little memories.
I guess little memories add up to the big memories that contribute to making a life special. Remember that as you go about your chores and activities today. It's all part of this big, wonderful event called life.