The difference a week makes

This past weekend, I enjoyed a fairly low-key couple of days. While I played cards and enjoyed dinner with friends, just like the weekend before, my attitude, mood and outlook for the future differed greatly. It's amazing the difference a week can make.

Of course, the previous weekend, I was almost debilitated by the fear of a reoccurence. Therefore every twinge, cramp and movement made me believe the cancer was back and filled me with dread. I anticipated returning to the chemo suite to have my veins pumped with the toxic chemotherapy and beginning the fight again.

I experienced all the same pains the past weekend, but I now know they're my new reality. They're not as scary when you know they're not cancer. I'll just have to get used to them.

I've discovered over the past few days, I have a different attitude, which may help when the next three-month check up occurs in May. I feel this first post-chemo appointment was the biggest hurdle. Since I made it through it, I'll make it many, many more appointments cancer free.

I hope this optimistic, can-do attitude sticks because I believe a positive attitude will not only keep the cancer at bay, but help me make the most of each day.

And I have lots of friends with whom to make the most of every day. I didn't go through the cancer experience alone, thanks to all of you, and I'm not celebrating alone either. I'm lucky so many people want to celebrate with me. My work had a little party for me on Friday morning and I have flowers brightening both my home and my office. As one friend said, "You had lots of flowers when you were sick. I decided to wait to give you flowers until you were better." I've also benefitted from lots hugs and congratulatory emails. It all makes me feel very fortunate.

Of course, everything isn't perfect, because life isn't like that. The doctors are running tests on Michael, I hold my breath nearly ever day Noah goes to school in fear of suspension, my mom's surgery is coming up and cancer claimed a couple more good people in the last few weeks.

But these days I am smiling and almost skipping because I am so very, very thankful to be alive. I need to make the most of it.

Make the most of your day. It's a gift.

Tina