My full house

Some people might say I've been dealt a pretty crappy hand in this poker game called life. And sure, if you focus on all the bad stuff, you'd be convinced I'd been dealt a pair of twos.

- I was diagnosed with one of the deadliest forms of cancer at stage IIIC at age 42.
- I have the BRCA-1 gene mututation, which predisposes me to not only ovarian cancer, but breast cancer as well.
- I'm experiencing an occurence for the third time in 2-1/2 years.
- The clinical trial drug that was supposed to be a miracle drug stopped working for me.
- Yet, my biggest tumour may be too small to qualify me for the next clinical trial. If that happens, I have to do chemo for the third time.
- I'm noticably filling with ascities on a daily basis.
- I have a son with behavioural difficulties, which means many trips to the principal's office, interactions with all forms of authority, doctors' appointments and medication.
- Being sick again could mean stretching the household dollars a bit more.
- I've been in relationships where I was treated like crap.
- The rest of my life will most likely be jumping from a series of treatments and clinical trials.
- I may die young, leaving all that is precious to me.

Sure, if I want to focus on all those nasty realities, I would only see the twos in my hand. Instead, I notice:

- I grew up in a house with two parents who loved me and gave me all they could so I could make the best start in life.
- They created the drive and helped make it possible for me to go to university (and they didn't dictate what I had to study).
- I met the love of my life and soul mate after I'd stopped looking, and he loved me right back. We've been together 18 wonderful years.
- We produced two wonderful, unique and talented children whom I hope to see develop into fine adults.
- I have an amazing and generous sister who would drive to the ends of the earth and back for me. She makes me laugh, holds my hand and shares my tears.
- I'm surrounded by many, many supportive and caring people who go out of their way to be there for me, even if it's just a soul-lifting hug or a warm smile.
- My cancer journey allowed me to meet many more fabulous individuals who make my life richer and more fulfilling.
- I write for a living. (Okay, maybe investments and insurance aren't the most stimulating topics, but I get to work with words.)
- I live in a comfortable house, go on vacations, own a hot tub, can still dance when I want and don't sound too bad when I sing in the shower.

I choose to examine the rest of the cards and notice those lowly little twos, paired with the three lucky sevens create a full house. Sure, it may not be the best full house I could draw, but it's not so bad. My house is full of love, goodness, warmth and wonderful blessings.

Regardless of how far my humble, but beautiful, full house takes me, I'm all in.

Tina