Time to follow my own advice

I've been preaching balance, perspective and enjoying each day and I've done exactly the opposite. Apparently, I'm good at dispensing advice and bad at taking it. As a result, I hit the wall yesterday. I was done - literally, figuratively and emotionally. I'd had enough of work, cancer, uncertainty and life in general.

I spent half the day on the verge of tears or actually crying. I was miserable, stressed and passively-agressively bitchy. Yuck. I hate myself when I'm like that. I know my friends are concerned about me and how I'm (not) handling the stress.

Last night and this morning, I decided to re-prioritize my activities. You have to appreciate how hard that is for me based on my three key strengths identified by a program I completed a few years ago are:

Responsibility
Once I commit to doing something I will follow it through to completion. I will accept no excuses from myself and I view every failure of something I've been involved in as potentially being my fault. Talk about pressure.

Harmony
This is my number one natural strength and as a result, I hate conflict. I look for opportunities to work harmoniously with people. I believe better results are achieved co-operation, kindness and collaboration. Yet, I'm struggling with this key trait every day because of some of the people with whom I'm working. Yet, I naturally say to myself, "I have to find a good way of working with x." It's exhausting.

Empathy
I sense the emotions of others and can see the world through their eyes. While I don't necessarily agree with each person's perspective, I can see their point of view. As I result, I take more onto myself at work. I know everyone is busy and I find it hard to delegate or ask for help because that demands more of others.

I know how overwhelmed I feel and therefore I sense how others must feel. But as a result, I'm taking on way to much (back to that darn responsibility trait). And I'm driving myself right round the bend. As Colonel Jack O'Neill said on Stargate SG-1, I'm "three fries short of a happy meal."

I have to change because I'm not enjoying anything right now - and that's not right. I also have to be less emotionally involved in my work. At a time when I should be ensuring I have the best balance in my life, I have none. So I'm going to do my best to ask for advice and help, to lift some of the burdens off my shoulders.

I'm also going to get out there and enjoy life. I spout some wise words sometimes, it's time I start listening to them.

I hope you have balance and fun in your life. It's a Friday in July, and that's too precious to waste.

Tina