Round and sloshy

Like a water balloon with a slow, steady stream of water, my abdomen is growing round and sloshy. It's now stretched to the beyond-comfort point. As a result, I'm going to have to call my doc today to talk about getting it drained.

I was hoping to avoid the semi-gruesome procedure that involves needles, some freezing and vacuum containers. But I want to be able to enjoy my cottage vacation next week. I also don't enjoy my breakfast sitting in my throat because my stomach is all squished.

This whole situation makes me sad because my fluid-filled abdomen is proof I'm sick. Before now, despite what the tests indicated, I felt well physically (mentally is a completely different story) and could carry on with life. But my uncomfortable, activity-altering bloated belly may as well be sporting a flashing, neon sign reading, "Sick with cancer. Sick with cancer." In some ways I look pregnant, but I'm really too old for that.

I donned a pair of dress pants for work today. Even though they were comfortable when I wore them late last week, they feel too tight today. I may have to start wearing stretch shorts and yoga pants to work at this rate. Of course, that's doesn't exactly fit with the corporate dress code.

My friend mentioned yesterday that I don't seem sick. But I am. I don't want to be, but my body is betraying me. It makes me sad and scared.

So today I call to make an appointment to get drained - the medical term is paracentesis - so I can live more comfortably and enjoy the activities of summer. I have to do that as well as I possibly can.

Tina