Goodbye you suck

Good-bye you suck
Never really liked you
- Shiloh

These lyrics blast regularly from the square, black speakers of the new CD/iPod stereo system my daughter, Tara, got for Christmas. It seems to be one of her favourite song selections and I have to say it aptly describes my feelings for 2011 on the eve of its demise.

Overall, this year was the worst of my life. Oh, it started out promising enough with the Olaparib clinical trial drug that was working to keep the cancer at bay. I was feeling great, working on some satisfying projects at work and eagerly anticipating Michael's sister's wedding. I was optimistic, happy, planning, working out and getting healthier.

At the end of May, I learned the ascities, and therefore, the cancer was returning. While the scourge allowed me to enjoy the wedding in mid-June, I started to feel the signs and symptoms toward the end of that month. Then all the crap started - waiting for the new clinical trial drug, its debilitating side effects, enormous stress at work, lots of paracentesis, the drainage tube insertion and inconvenience, emergency surgery, hospital stays, more waiting, all the illness, vomiting, stomach woes and new treatment. Ugh.

As 2011 ends, I gleefully kick it, and most of what it brought to my life, to the curb. While I'm sure I won't be awake to welcome 2012 into my home, I anticipate it will gently join me between the flannel sheets of my warm bed where I'll be curled with Michael to wash its promised goodness over me. I know it's going to take some time for it to fix the mess 2011 is leaving behind, but I'm hoping this 2012 will be a strong, healthy, take-charge year that takes no bull and brings only health and happiness to us all.

I look forward to it.

Good bye 2011, you truly did suck.

Tina