Silver lining

My little black storm cloud of painful and annoying side effects has a silver lining. I think the Regorafinib is attacking my cancer cells.

I haven't drained any ascities in two days. Zero. And nothing is snaking down the drainage tube so far this morning. In the two days before, only 50 mL of the nasy fluid flowed out. So perhaps the cancer cells are so busy shrivelling and dying from the attack of the Regorafinib, they don't have time to produce their liquidy bi-product. Ha! Ha!

Even though I don't like taking a lot of drugs, I think the combination I'm on - Domperindone (to keep things moving in my gut), Dexamethasone (to prevent vomiting) and Rininidine (an antacid) - is working to make me feel better. I think my body is also getting used to them because I seem to be producing less of the nasty, noxious gas.

And no rash this morning either so maybe the Dexamethasone is continuing to keep that at bay.

But the medications, and I suspect it's the steroid, make me want to eat all the time. I also feel shaky at times and need to eat to feel better. So I feel like I'm constantly putting something in my mouth, which isn't good for my poor waistline.

In addition, my taste changes prompt cravings for flavour. It's not that I have a bad taste in my mouth, it's more that I want something better to dance across my tastebuds. Icy cold water, which ranks up there as one of my favourite drinks, doesn't appeal to me any more. So I'm jazzing it up with flavouring and opting for more tasty drinks. Some of  my favourite foods and drinks don't even hit the craving list very often any more - Diet Coke, alcoholic beverages, some fruits and vegetables, etc. Oh, but those lovely, dense carbohydrates (especially baked goods) pop to the forefront of my mind on a regular basis.

With me craving food, I'm enjoying cooking again. I plan meals, chop, saute and simmer. It's a little more difficult with my damaged hands, but I'm managing. Luckily, cooking brings me joy so it's a little ray of sunshine in my slightly depressed life. (Oh, and I'm trying to find more of those, but have to admit, I'm having a bit of difficulty. I'm working on it.)

A few weeks ago, when I was full of fluid with my stomach squished and the food sitting like a lump in my belly, I wasn't eating hardly anything. I lost weight. Now the pendulum has swung the other way and I'm devouring everything tasty, fattening, flavourful or decadant I can get my hands on. Of course, now the pounds are finding their way back on my not-so-petite frame. Neither scenario is good. I will have to find some balance . . . eventually.

Now if I could get the painful, annoying, debilitating blisters to depart my hands and feet, my little black cloud could could start to break up and make room for some blue skies.

What's in your blue sky on this Friday morning?

Tina

Tina