Grumpy

I feel a little grumpy this morning, even though I shouldn't. The side effects upon waking are better than I expected, so I should be happy. But maybe it's anticipation of what's to come. I know today and tomorrow are usually my worst days.

Last night, I had a moment of weakness and told Michael I wasn't sure I could get through these two days. But then I bucked up (because what else can I do), set my shoulders and said, "of course I can, I don't have a choice." But it's hard.

Maybe because of my weak confession last night, God is taking it easy on me this morning. I only have a skunky mouth and some minor leg pain, which started about 7 p.m. last night. I'm on top of it with Tylenol, so hopefully it won't get too bad. On Friday, Dr. P. asked if I wanted stronger medication for the leg pain, to which I replied no. I've gone from a person who took vitamins and a Tylenol every once in a while to popping pills all day. Argh! Besides, strong medication does nasty things to my body.

While the bone pain is one of the worst side effects, I'm waiting for the horrible pervading tiredness, depression and dread that I compared to slipping into a dark well the other day. I think I hate that one the worst because there's nothing I can do about it. There's no magic pain pill; only time.

But for now, I'm still okay. I managed to successfully drink a coffee this morning without a stomach revolt and I have plans with a book and my computer today. I may even nap or, now that my doc has approved it, lounge in the pool (but not alone because sometimes I feel weak).

Anything to get through the day.

Tina