Pain and worry

Since yesterday was Tara's birthday, I had to appear reasonably okay. We did some shopping for her parties, ate Pizza Pizza for lunch, visited the children's museum, and then made tacos and brownies together for her birthday supper.

But yesterday was a bad one for pain - bone pain, abdominal pain and heartburn.

I started experiencing the loss of sensation I was warned about on the top of my right hand Friday night. It may or may not return. I'm hoping since it didn't happen until my second last treatment, it won't be a permanent condition.

I'm also getting burning sensations in my hands and feet this time around. My nurse said it's from my racing blood, as it tries to rid iteself of the toxins. My pulse rate soars into the 90s sometimes (it was nicely in the 50s and low 60s before this all happened).

I've got toxic chemicals coursing through my body over and over. Of course, it's going to damage some of the healthy tissue. I worry about how healthy my organs, bones and skin will be after this ordeal. How will my poor body be left at the end of it all?

This recovery cycle is longer. I guess after being battered for a fifth time, the healthy cells are staggering as they get up. One more time. Hang in there for one more time.

Overall, I feel sad and worried this morning. But it's two more days of birthday celebrations so hopefully the pain wanes and the activities improve my mood. With this cancer and recovery, things change from day to day, so who knows what today will bring.

Here's hoping your weekend is a good one.
Tina