A bump in the road

I'm a little freaked out this morning. My legs aren't working properly. I feel like puppeteer trying to control a marionette. From the mid-thigh down, they're tingly, swollen and weak. While I know it's the peripheral neuropathy, understanding it doesn't make it any less scary.

I was feeling pretty good yesterday morning (except that I didn't eat early enough, then got dizzy and nauseous). But I'm my own worst enemy, because I didn't rest much yesterday and instead did some laundry. I had some symptoms of neuropathy, but I figured I could just push through them.

By late afternoon, the swelling and pain really started. It feels like my feet and ankles (my hands and wrists to a much lesser degree) are overstuffed sausages. The casing (my skin) hurts because it's stretched, producing a burning and tingly sensation. When I walk, the pressure stretches the skin even more. Ouch.

Then because they're swollen, my feet feel rounded, so I'm unsteady. To top it off, I have a loss of strength, and I fear I'll topple over at some point. (Weebles wobble. But with my luck, I'd fall down).

I woke this morning to find the feeling travelled up my legs to my thighs. Most of my leg is tingly, weak and feels like a giant sausage. Sigh.

I hope it goes away - soon. Last chemo treatment, I had this side effect for the first time, but to a much lesser degree. It appeared on the Friday and was gone by the Sunday. The symptoms are much worse this time, but I'm hopeful they'll stick to the same time frame.

I talked to my home-care nurse about the neuropathy yesterday and she told me it often goes away, but it may take up to six months to do so. She was optimistic it won't be permanent because I'm young. But she did warn me, it may go away, only to reappear periodically (i.e. when it's cold). I may have to don warm socks to protect my feet in the winter.

Yesterday afternoon, I was sorting through my feelings and starting to feel a bit more optimistic. But this morning, I'm down in the dumps because of this side effect. It sucks and it's scary. I'm impatient and I just want it to all go away.

Sorry to be such a downer on this beautiful Friday morning, but this is the journey. I've hit another bump in the road.

Tina