Relief and joy

Friday would have been my chemo day if I were still receiving treatments. All day the feelings of relief that I wasn't hooked up to the needle in the chemo suite washed over me. But I thought about the others who were there, who I'd met over the course of my treatments.

One woman, who was also fighting ovarian cancer, I saw every week for five weeks. We'd share side effects and strategies for dealing with them. I felt excitment for her and her husband because Friday was her last treatment and she could ring the bell. I hope she rang it long and loud!

Then there's the woman I met during my last treatment, who was starting her second round of chemo for her ovarian cancer reoccurence. I felt terrible for her because the cancer came back in less than six months. Her hair had returned and I'm sure she felt good. But she was bravely facing the chemo again.

Meeting her really affected me because she's now living every cancer survivor's fear - the dreaded cancer will return.

Yes, I'm afraid. But I'm not going to let that fear affect my enjoyment of life. Yes, the cancer may come back, but I don't want to spend the cancer-free days in fear. That's letting the cancer control my life. No way!

So I'm living my life with joy, trying to find the enjoyment and good things in each day.

Tina