Weight of the world

When I visited the social worker on Friday, we identified 10 subjects my mind was trying to process. No wonder I felt completely overwhelmed on Thursday. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.

But since Thursday, I've been processing all that information in my brain and talking to the social worker helped me put some things in perspective. For me, that helps. If I think or talk about things, I can usually make a decision, put it on hold, put it into perspective or dismiss it.

I know I've always been logical, but this journey makes me realize, I'm also an optimist.

Michael and I went out for our end-of-chemo celebratory dinner on Friday night. But Michael was still processing all the news (we all work at our own pace) and didn't feel very celebratory. Perhaps we should have delayed the dinner, but we went. I think my positive mood helped him improve his by the end of the meal. Those six gut-wrenching treatments (and the invasive surgery) are done. We needed to celebrate.

Speaking of weight of the world, I've packed on the pounds since I started treatment and I am so out of shape. At the Port Frank's beach yesterday, I got winded climbing the sand dune from the beach. How pathetic. People try to reassure me that once the steroids are out of my system and I start to work out again, I'll drop the weight. But weight loss has always been such a struggle for me. So much for the 40 lbs I lost in 2006. I'll have to do it all over again - after vacation.

As for today, I'm accompanying Noah's class on a field trip. It's a rainy, wet day and the activities are outside. So we'll don our raincoats and do the best we can. I'm taking advantage of the ability to attend his field trip and spend time with my son.

Hope you have a great Monday, despite the weather.

Tina