Recovery and changes

I've turned into a whimp! Three hours of work and I was just whipped yesterday afternoon. Of course, it didn't help that I slept poorly the night before. But still, I used to be able to function normally, even if I didn't sleep well.

So I came home after work and scarfed down some lunch. In the past, I used to be able to go hours without eating. Sure, I was hungry, but it didn't make me feel ill. Now, if I don't eat regularly, my stomach lurches and my head pounds. So, even though I only work for three hours a day this week, I have to bring in snacks. I feel a bit like a little kid who needs her goldfish crackers and sippy cup.

I slept like the dead last night (with the help of my little, white pill) and feel better this morning. I'm heading into work again today so I can have tomorrow off with my honey. He's a government worker and as such, gets Remembrance Day off. Perhaps we'll get some Christmas shopping done. That crazy holiday is creeping up on me like a speeding semi in my rearview mirror as I drive along the 401. Yikes!

My attitude towards Christmas has completely changed this year. I'm simply thankful for the opportunity to get together with those I love to enjoy good food and company. I remember looking at the pictures of last Christmas shortly after I was diagnosed in April, crying as I wondered if that was my last one.

Well, I'm here to celebrate another one and I feel fortunate that my gifts are: the opportunity to experience the joys of Christmas through the eyes of my children, time with my family and the love we share, get togethers with my friends where we laugh, eat and drink, an opportunity to walk in the crisp evening and look at the coloured lights, baking Christmas cookies and pies, working with my sister as we help prepare for the traditional feast at my mom and dad's, etc.

While I know gifts are part of the experience of Christmas (and I do enjoy watching the reaction when I give a perfect gift), I don't care if I get a single present this year. I just want to soak in the experience and atmosphere.

But I know while my perceptions have changed, not all with whom I celebrate have this new attitude. So I still need to do the shopping. I hate crowds and have limited stamina, so taking the opportunity to do some tomorrow sounds like a great plan. (Thanks for the suggestion Colleen.)

It also gives me a few hours alone with Michael. Sounds good to me.

Tina