Maybe I should consider it a good sign, but I feel abandoned by my doctors. I called Dr. W today (since he was the last cancer doc I saw) to ask for a renewal on my lorazepam. With my mom's surgery, going back to work, the uncertainty over my scan, etc., I'm not ready to give it up. I only have two little, white pills left, so I called the cancer clinic.
But his nurse told me since I'm not under active care by Dr. W, I should go see my family doctor to get my prescription renewed.
Say what?!
I feel like no one at the cancer clinic is looking out for me. Doesn't the fact that I have a CT scan booked for the end of January and an appointment with Dr. W on Feb. 2 count for anything? Since I signed up for the clinical trial, my primary care transferred from Dr. P to Dr. W. Never mind that I didn't qualify for the clinical trial drug. Now I feel like I don't even have secondary care at the cancer clinic.
I should probably be relieved they don't want to see me and trust my care (especially for a simple thing like anti-anxiety medication) to my family doc. But after all that time at the cancer clinic, I feel like no one is watching out for my well being.
Yeah, I am overreacting. I'm tired. I think I've tried to do too much lately. Besides going back to work, I've been gung ho with my exercise and think I've overdone it. After work today, I was toast and I came home to sit at my computer, make some phone calls and be still for a while. Tonight, my back is killing me from running on the treadmill yesterday. I think I'm going to have to scale back my activity a bit because I'm feeling the results of my excessive enthusiasm.
Oh, and back to that Feb. 2 appointment with Dr. W to discuss the results of my CT scan, there had better not be any resemblance to the movie Groundhog Day where I have to re-live the past eight months. Fingers crossed, it'll be the start of a new beginning (of health) that I get to live over and over.
Anyway, enough rambling (that's what I get for trying to blog at night). I'm going to go be a couch potato and rest so I can function tomorrow.
Your tired friend,
Tina
My dear Friend Tina
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me at least too, that you expect to much from yourself. The motto was "one day in a time" you remember? So please do yourself and your family the favour and calm down. Do not expect too much and set little targets in the future.
Ref. the Doctor W. thing: It is the same over here, out of sight, out of mind. They don´t care about the single patient.
I think of you every day and cross my fingers that the results in February will be fine.
Love you
Renate