Scars

Scars remind us where we've been
They don't have to dictate where we're going.

- Criminal Minds television show

My body is a roadmap of scars. Each tells its own story. The one on my chin originates from childhood when I went flying over the handlebars of my bicycle. My parents were on vacation and my sister and I were staying with family friends. They wanted me to go to the hospital for stitches but I balked and cried, so they put a bandaid on the bloody cut instead. I probably wouldn't have the scar today if I hadn't been so stubborn.

Then I have a number of crater chicken pox scars. I broke out in red spots around the age of 13. My parents first thought I was the afflicted with a terrible acne breakout (and denied me chocolate ice cream as a result). I was covered with chicken pox spots and they were terribly itchy. As a result, I scratched too much and have the scars to prove it.

My two rewarding scars are a result of the two c-sections I had to deliver my children. I'd happily do those operations all over again to get the two precious monsters I have in my life today. I love them so much, so two scars are small prices to pay for their presence in my life.

I've also undergone breast reduction surgery, which produced their own tracks across my body. If I decide to choose a double mastectomy, I'm sure the surgeons will add to those scars. I read a cool t-shirt a little while ago, which I find hilarious. "Yes, they're fake. My real ones tried to kill me." If I chop off my breasts to prevent me from getting breast cancer, I may have to get myself one of those shirts.

And then there's the giant vertical abdominal scar I now have from about two inches above my belly button to my pubic bone. But, the bottom line is, I'd rather have scars than cancer.

In addition to the external scars on my body, I know I also have some internal ones. We all do.

Like the quote from Criminal Minds, each one of these scars reminds me where I've been, the experiences I've had, the battles I've fought and the rewards I've earned. They make me who I am.

But, they DON'T have to dictate where I'm going or what I can do with my life. I have to remain positive and believe.

My good friend once told me, when I waffled about getting a tattoo, that I have all kinds of marks on my body that I didn't choose. A tattoo would be a beautiful mark that I did. I haven't gotten that tattoo yet, but I may one of these days.

In essence, the quote says the experiences of our past may shape who we are, but we still have choices to form our futures. Choose to learn from the experiences and scars life has given you to make the most of your tomorrows.

Tina