Live life

"Why is it that we're so scared to live and yet so afraid to die? We thirst for change and yet choose to stay stuck." Kris Carr, Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor

I discovered this book in the library yesterday and promptly sat down to read the first 10 pages or so while waiting for Noah. On Valentine's Day 2003, Kris Carr was diagnosed with slow-moving, inoperable liver and lung cancer with no cure and no definitive treatment. Her diagnosis prompted her to live life to the fullest while having stage IV cancer. She's captured her journey through a documentary film and at least two books. She's quite the firecracker, who humourously explores how cancer changed her life.

Within the first few pages of her book, I found Kris expressed so many inspirational and provoking thoughts. It's a workbook, with exercises designed to shake up the readers and propel them into true, unabashed living. The lessons are valid whether you have cancer or not.

She admits that before her diagnosis, "I spent a good portion of my young life loping around and marking time, treating life as if it were a dress rehersal and I was the understudy."

It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day activities of life, moving from one day to the next without much conscious thought. We go to work, get groceries, clean the house, cook meals, do laundry, shuttle the kids from here to there, etc. While this is the necessary stuff to manage our lives and pay the bills, it isn't necessarily living (unless perhaps you live to clean).

It's important to incorporate truly enjoyable stuff into the mandatory activities. And then again, ask yourself if they're truly mandatory or could you change some aspect to make them more satisfying? Is your job fulfilling? Can you cut back on the activities you truly dread? Can you shift an event slightly to bring more enjoyment to it? Add some music, wine, friends, books, challenge, stimulation, whatever to mix it up. It's worth thinking about.

Carr mentions fears often hold us back. She encourages the readers take charge of our fears and give them their 15 minutes of fame by writing them down and then burning the list. By acknowledging them, we can better understand them (and perhaps soothe them or prompt action to eliminate them) and identify those unhealthy or irrational fears.

While some fears are valid, it's important not to let fear control us. By letting fears rule our lives, we allow chaos to rule. Carr calls it "soul constipation."

All this is pretty profound for someone who has been told she has cancer with no cure and no remission. You'd think that condition alone would produce immobilizing fear. But as she so aptly says, "Life is a terminal condition, cancer patients are just more aware of it."

She refuses to let cancer break her spirit or feel like a sick person, but chooses to be more alive, beautiful and sexier (hence crazy, sexy cancer). That's a good lesson. We only get one go around in this life. Choose how you want to live it.

Tina