Gift of time

I learned about a tragic incident this week that got me thinking about my situation. A friend suddenly lost a dear friend. The man, in his early 30s, died suddenly because his heart stopped working. The malfunction wasn't due to genetics, lifestyle or outside influences. It was a freak incident that could happen to anyone.

This guy lived each day to the fullest, and those around him knew how much he cared. So he had no regrets.

How many of us can say that?

In a way, my cancer makes me lucky because it's opened my eyes to mortality and allowed me to change. It's given me the gift of time, so I can do more, say more and appreciate more.

I now try not to bumble through life without noticing the little gifts each day brings and the joy of the people around me. Right now, I'm enjoying the giggles of my daughter as she plays with our dog and the feel of the breeze wafting in from the living room window. The birds are singing, the rain is showering the grass with drink and my husband loaded the dishwasher.

I have to admit that sometimes when I get hugs or tell people I love them, I get sad, wondering what the future has in store for me. But that may be part of the gift. I realize how precious things are because of the awareness of my mortality; because I know I won't always be around to enjoy them.

In the past, I've said that I want to die suddenly, in my sleep (at a very old age). While old age is still my goal (even if it's somewhat unreasonable) I think I'd like to leave this world in the presence of someone I love. But in the meantime, I'm fortunate because I've learned to enjoy life a lot more while I'm meandering my way towards death.

We're all on the same journey, the path may just be shorter for some than others. We never know when the grim reaper will come knocking on our door, so it's important to live each day to its fullest.

Don't get me wrong. This blog isn't about sadness or fear, it's about enjoyment, love, blessings and appreciation. I'm very thankful that I marvel at the colour of the sky, enjoy the feel of little arms hugging me, anticipate playing cards and laughing with friends, and feel love in the strong embrace of my husband.

A couple of years ago, I would have taken these things for granted, not noticing their wonderful qualities. So, cancer brought this small gift. Unlike those who die suddenly, I have the opportunity to change my viewpoint and actions for the better.

What would you like to change? Don't put it off because life can toss some wicked hardballs.

But most of all, enjoy this Saturday of a long weekend. It's full of possibilies.

With grateful appreciation,
Tina