Of course

It's just my luck. I experience a dose of good luck and then run into a glitch along the way.

I'm considering my quick CT appointment good luck. I'm not even going to consider that my doctor put me at the top of the list in the event of a cancellation. I don't want to consider the ramifications and get the fear churning in my gut again. So, I'm going to consider it fortuitous and leave it at that.

But, does the process go smoothly for me. No.

Oh, it was chugging along just fine at the beginning. I arrived on time and finished my radioactive water ahead of schedule. I was called in fairly quickly, and I thought I'd be in and out so I could continue on with my day.

But the technician had trouble finding a vein for the IV. He tried a small one in my left forearm, but it quickly shrank away from the intrusive needle and collapsed. He couldn't find any other veins he liked and didn't want to root around in my arms, so he called the special IV team.

I completely understand these specially skilled nurses are in high demand, so I knew I'd wait awhile. They wrapped my arms in warm blankets to encourage the veins to open up and I looked a bit like the Michelin man.

But as I was sitting alone in the back room with only my thoughts for company, I started imagining my potential future. I realized that hospitals and tests were going to be a part of the rest of my life. On our 15th anniversary, I felt sad Michael and I would probably spend a lot of our time in hospitals. And I started to cry.

Luckily, another nurse must have sensed my distress and talked to me. I told her I was worried about my husband who was sitting in the waiting room, wondering what happened to me. The sweet soul got him and brought him back to wait with me. Michael said he didn't care what our future involved, as long as we were together. His words and presence calmed me down and cheered me up.

He also brought his luck, because a short while later, the IV nurse arrived, found a vein and with only minor, stinging pain, inserted the needle. Within 15 minutes, I was done the entire scan and getting dressed to exit into the sunny, beautiful day.

On a side note, the strangest thing happened yesterday. I don't even know what to make of this. On the way to the appointment, I was stretching, curling my abdomen up and in (like you're supposed to do when you do crunches). All of a sudden, it felt as thought my insides rolled backwards and got stuck, bringing incredible pain.

I told Michael to pull over so I could get out and walk around - as if to allow the internal organs, cavities and whatever else is in there, to fall back in their proper locations. It hurt so much I thought I was going to throw up.

I'd had a similar incident (on a much, much smaller scale) before I was diagnosed. I was sitting cross-legged on a chair and lifted myself by my arms to reposition myself. Then it felt as though something that curled up got stuck in my abdomen. It only lasted a few seconds and caused minimal pain, but I remember thinking it was weird. In retrospect, I guess it could have been the tumour.

Hopefully my gut-rolling incident was due to internal scar tissue or something. But needless to say, I'll be mentioning it to my doctors when I see them on June 1.

On a happier note, Michael and I celebrated in style yesterday with dinner at Michael's on the Thames. We had the chateaubriand for two, which is cooked right at the table and served with about 12 different kinds of vegetables. We also indulged in an appetizer, glass of wine, dessert and coffee. Throw in Michael's excellent company and the evening was just about perfect. We toasted to celebrating our 25th (and 50th anniversaries) in the future.

I find myself smiling this morning. Despite the setbacks at the CT scan (and that I even need one), the potential reoccurence of my cancer and the strange pains in my body, I consider myself a lucky woman. I have so many blessings in my life and I'm going to enjoy each and every one of them - for as long as I can.

Besides, it's the Friday of a long weekend and I'm headed to Port Franks (aka, the spa). Life is good.

Tina