Anorexia

As long as I can remember, I've loved food. I love shopping for it. I love preparing it. I love crafting new recipes and I love eating it.

I regularly crave some item of food or another, and have been known to visible gulp when describing a particularly mouth-watering dish. I could never pick just one favourite food because I love too many.

Foods concocted at my house could range from meaty spareribs with a smoky-sweet BBQ sauce to angel hair pasta sauted in a creamy herb sauce with zucchini, mushrooms and sweet bell pepper to a juicy burger on a chewy ciabatta bun with garlic mayo and a thick slice of tomato to chick peas simmered in a carefully crafted combination of Indian spices and served over hot, basmati rice.

I could spend hours happily chopping, sauteeing, basting and whipping in the kitchen, trying a new recipe or making up a dish of my own. At one point in time, I actually considered becoming a chef.

I love to bake from scratch too. I've been baking for as long as I can remember. Baked goods are one of my weaknesses too. Some people crave salt, I crave sugar. My grandmother was a fabulous baker, often whipping up her chocolate cake as we arrived to visit so we could enjoy the warm treat before we left for home. Mmmmm. So I think a little bit of baking powder and sugar runs in my blood.

I also enjoy going out to dinner. I think food is an integral part of entertaining. My plump body bears witness to my love affair with food.

As a result, I've never understood people who showed a disinterest in eating. I didn't believe individuals who claimed they only ate for sustenance, not for the pleasure the consumption of food provides.

But I now understand - and I don't like it one bit.

I think the Olaparib, probably in combination with the cold, left me with no interest in food other than as necessary fuel for my body. I seem to lack tastebuds, which makes almost no food appealing. For a while, the acid reflex made some items sound like torture rather than food. Imagine contemplating a juicy orange, a glass of bubbly Coke or a spicy sausage when your throat is burning from residual acid.

I haven't consumed a cup of my beloved java in over a week. Me! I find it shocking (and sad) that I don't even miss it. I loved my coffee. I certainly don't get the same satisfaction from the occassional cup of tea I now drink. But, it's easier on my poor little tummy.

Anorexia, is a potential side effect from the Olaparib. The definition of which is, chronic loss of appetite. I guess I'm experiencing that side effect. Anorexia nervosa is the eating disorder, and I'm not even going there.

I'm hoping my tastebuds will return in the next day or two, since I'm now on my Olaparib break. Then I'll be able to enjoyably feast on some of my favourite meals and desserts, before it starts again.

When you enjoy eating something particularly tasty today, take a big bite and think of me.

Tina