The cancer is back.
The signs were there and I reported them. Dr. P took me seriously and sent me for a CT scan, which showed multiple masses in my abdomen and pelvic cavity. Some of them are quite large (I don't have details because I haven't read the CT report yet). My CA-125 was also elevated - in the 300s.
Dr W, the research oncologist, said the fact that's it's been nine months since my last treatment is a good thing (although it certainly doesn't feel like a good thing to me) because the cancer obviously responded to the chemo. He said I now qualify for a PARP inhibitor study (which I've wanted to be part of all along - preferrably as a preventative measure as opposed to a treatment).
Unfortunately, the study isn't being held in London, so I'll have to travel to Hamilton or Toronto to participate. So be it. I'll travel.
The study involves taking a PARP inhibitor or placebo in addition to chemotherapy. Yup, I have to go through six hellish rounds of paclitaxel and carboplatin again. If I get the PARP inhibitor, instead of the placebo, the side effects from the chemo are supposed to be worse.
The fact that I have to fight again, that I have to commence the fight again so soon and that I have to suffer the side effects of chemo again absolutely suck.
The good news is, I don't have another form of cancer, it hasn't invaded another organ, I qualify for the PARP inhibitor study and I'm still strong.
Even though it may not be in my nature, I am going to fight this bastard with everything I have. This certainly isn't the end of me.
Tina
I'm SO sorry to hear this, Tina. I've been following your recent blog entries and thinking about you a lot. I was so anxious to hear the results of your scan... but this was not what I was hoping to hear. I'm SO SO sorry you have to recommence the fight. My thoughts are with you during this very difficult time. All best, Steph H
ReplyDeleteMy Dear Friend Tina!
ReplyDeleteI´m also SO sorry to hear this! As you know I followed your blog almost every day and I thought a lot about you. Be sure that our prayers and our thoughts are again with you. We wish you the strength you will need for the next round to fight against this nasty bastard called cancer. Tears are rolling down my face while I´m typing this. Love you, Renate
I love you.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE a fighter. It IS in your nature. You are far too competitive to let it win.
In our gym, we have a saying: "The only thing better than winning, is defending."
Defend your title. Like the champ you are.
My heart is in my throat right now. I don't even know what to say except SWEET BLEEDING JESUS and other things I can't type here.
ReplyDeleteWe're fighting right beside you, Tina.
i love you.
I love you darlin girl. You are indeed a fighter, and you will beat this.
ReplyDeleteYou are always in my thoughts and in my heart.
Always close.
Love Jane
ok,, FFS !!!!!! When I texted you this morning of 'it is what it is' I NEVER expected it to be this... I was hoping for a crappy little ulcer!
ReplyDeleteSo now we put our boxing gloves on again and go into the ring fighting. Your clan stands strong behind (beside, in front, surrounding) you... again...as always. We will do what needs to be done to help, to feed, to babysit, to clean, to paint (again if necessary) to SHAVE, to cry and to hold you in our arms and in our hearts. We do what we do not because we have to, but because we HAVE TO so we can feel productive in helping you, Mikey, Noah and Tara (not to mention Gin-ger) get through this *&^%%& crap again...
this sucks...(can you tell I've already shed my tears earlier in the day??? I'm just plain pissed now)
Pete and I are always here to share our EVERYTHING with you,,, but you know that.
xoxox