Just my luck

I now have two puncture wounds to go with my (still) rapidly growing belly.

Even though Dr. P tried to tap my abdomen to drain the fluid, he wasn't successful. He got a little bit on the first try, but couldn't even find it on the second. Instead of using me as a human pin cushion, he decided to send me for an ultrasound to mark the location of the fluid and then try the paracentisis (needle drainage of fluid from the abdominal cavity) again.

Even though I really wanted the fluid to go, I'm glad Dr. P stopped when he did. He can freeze the upper layers of skin and tissue, but he can't dull the sensation in the layer directly above the abdominal cavity. So when the needle goes in, I feel it. But it's a procedure I'm willing to endure to provide relief. Unfortunately, that's not something I achieved today.

The fluid seems to be all on the left side. Dr. P said scar tissue in the abdomen can form barriers, which causes the fluid to gather on one side. If I look carefully, I notice my left side is fuller than my right. My right side may be full of gas or something because it's bloated too. A bit concerning, but Dr. P didn't seem worried.

The very kind nurse assured me that patients often need ultrasounds to pinpoint the exact location of the fluid before paracentis. Luckily, she quickly scheduled a follow-up appointment for 9 a.m. on Monday morning.

Apparently, I'll get to ride on a stretcher around the hospital to ultrasound and then back to the cancer centre for the procedure. I have to lie still so the fluid doesn't shift. Maybe if I look at it as an adventure ride, it won't seem so bad.

But quite honestly, I'm not all that fond of being wheeled around a hospital in a bed or a wheelchair. To me, it says I'm not capable of getting around on my own. I know that's not the case, but that's the way it makes me feel.

One good thing came out of the appointment today - I got to ask Dr. P a couple of questions burning in my mind.

Why did the tumours get so big so quickly? Is that typical? What does it mean?
He didn't seem to think that 5 to 7 centimeters was that big (I beg to differ) and assured me that quick growth means they're more suceptible to the killing effects of chemotherapy because they're rapidly dividing cells. Die cancer die. (Okay, he didn't say that. I added that sentiment.)

Is surgery not typical for reoccurence?
He said he does surgery in about 10 per cent of the cases. He does it when there is one or two big tumours, to extend the time between reoccurences. Because my cancer is all over, surgery isn't a good option.

So even though I want lots of time between reoccurences (say 20 or 30 years), I'm going to have to count on the chemo and the PARP inhibitor to do that.

I continue to pray I get the drug and not the placebo.

Your (still) bloated friend,
Tina