Six revelations

My glass is half full today, despite the heavy rain. I'm feeling positive so I thought I'd list six good things to come out of my cancer diagnosis and the lessons I've learned from them:

1. I have strengthened or repaired relationships with others - In some cases, life as it existed put up roadblocks to deeper relationships. But over the last six weeks, I've come to live the philosophy that the past is the past, and we can only move forward as better friends (or relatives). Lesson - Don't let petty disagreements get in the way of better relationships. Identify your friends and work at the relationships. Good friendships take effort.

2. I have more time to think and a new perspective - I contemplate life and death. I've identified what's really important to me. I've begun to let go of those I mistakenly thought were important. I've also had the blinders of immortality ripped from my eyes. Lesson - Life is short, so it's important to do what you love, create time for yourself and treat yourself well.

3. I realize I have great people in my life - I couldn't fight as effectively without all of you. I have many in my life who are generous, thoughtful and kind. I have an amazing husband who loves me just as I am and will be there fighting with me through this entire journey. Lesson - You've surrounded yourself with great people and they want to help, so let them.

4. My kids are amazing - I don't believe in sugar coating messages to my kids. I've told them I have cancer, that it's serious, that I'll get worse before I get better, but that I'm fighting as hard as I possibly can because I don't want to leave them. They seem to understand and are helping a bit more around the house. While they seem to be coping well, I've signed them up for art therapy because they may not be talking to me. Lesson - Kids are resilient and will surprise you in ways you don't expect. But you also need to anticipate they may need supports other than you.

5. I'm less afraid to make choices that are right for me - In the past, I sometimes held my tongue or did things because I thought I might hurt someone's feelings. Now, I realize I have to take care of me and people aren't going to hate me if I say no to a request or express my needs. I'm also less afraid to tell people (okay Michael - sorry honey) about the actions they do that drive me crazy. I'm not unkind or harsh, but I'm expressing my feelings in a more healthy way. Lesson - It's okay to think of myself first to build healthier relationships.

6. One day at a time - In the past, I've tended to look to the future. As a communicator, I constantly watched upcoming dates: the next deadline, the printing date, the end of the project, etc. In my personal life, I planned the next weekend, the next vacation, the future goal. But I can't do a lot of planning right now (except for chemo and surgery dates) and have to take each day as it comes. As a result, I appreciate the blessings each day provides. I look at the colour of the sky. I watch the rain. I marvel at blooming of spring. I enjoy the time and laughter with my family and friends. Lesson - Take advantage of what each new day brings. Each one is precious. Don't live your life waiting for the future.

I'm sure I could go on with positive lessons I've learned, but I'm afraid I'm starting to sound preachy. That's not my intention. I simply want to point out the results of a serious diagnosis aren't all bad.

I'm different. I'll never be the same as I was before cancer. In some respects, that's not necessarily bad.

Your positive friend,
Tina