Double whammy

I knew experiencing chemotherapy just over two weeks after surgery was going to be difficult - and I was right.

I have the usual suspects of side-effects - extreme tiredness, aching bones in my legs and ribs, skunky taste in my mouth, weakness, indigestion and upset stomach. While they appeared during the last treatments, they seem to be rearing their ugly heads a little earlier this time. (On the optimistic side, maybe they'll go away quicker too!)

But because of the surgery, I'm also experiencing some additional pain in my abdomen, around the incision site. I'm sure it's the drugs doing their usual work, and it just felt much different before the operation. While I need the chemo to attack the remaining cancer cells, the experience is far from pleasant.

The pains were really bad last night, so I took a Tylenol 3 when I went to bed. While I felt pretty good upon waking this morning, I know the onslaught of symptoms will come looking for me the longer I'm awake. Yeah, I know, my optimism is waning, but pain will do that to a person.

So today I'm going to curl up in my bed with my book, computer and some movies. I'm going to do what I need to do, including sleep, rest and moan, if necessary. Luckily, my kids are with my mother-in-law so the only person I need to worry about is me.

While I appreciate when people reach out to make sure I'm okay, please understand if I don't feel much like talking on the phone or don't respond to your emails as quickly as usual for the next few days. These symptoms make me cocoon. It's my way of dealing with the pain.

I hate this. I hate the feelings of helplessness and weakness. I hate not having enough energy to do anything. The pain is debilitating and depressing.

But I will prevail. I have to do this. And I can do this - one day at a time. Today will just be a little rougher than some of the others.

Tina