A little nervous

Today is chemo treatment number four. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about this one for two reasons:

1. My stomach is a bit upset for some reason. I don't know if it's a reaction to the anti-nausea drugs (seems counter-intuitive though), nervousness or that I'm coming down with some nasty bug. The last one could delay my treatment, which is the last thing I want.

2. The after-effects of the last chemo were terrible, so I'm nervous I'll experience the same debilitating symptoms. I tell myself the experience last time was magnified because I was still healing from the surgery. But perhaps the response is cumulative and I'll again be under a black cloud for a few days.

But I'm trying to be positive and envision a successful outcome for both worries. I also envision I'll get a bed by a window and the needle will go in successfully the first time.

So I sit here and wait for my coffee to finish brewing so I can partake in its addictive goodness. Today, and maybe tomorrow, I'll be able to enjoy my cup of joe before my stomach begins its revolt of my favourite morning breakfast beverage.

While drinking my java, I'll contemplate the six hour process I face today. I'll know it's going to be a long day and the effects are going to be tough, but I can do it. I have to do it. And I'll remember and gain strength knowing you're all rooting for me.

Tina