Same old, same old

"It's the same old story, same old song and dance, my friend." - Aerosmith.

Steven Tyler and the boys sum up my feelings once again. With nothing new to say, I feel boring and repetitive - and I'm sure you're tired of it too. I'm suffering the same old symptoms, in different degrees of severity.

The metallic taste in my mouth is far more pronounced this time around making eating and drinking less enjoyable. I don't know whether to consume more or less to alleviate it. I'm relunctant to risk my coffee this morning, so it's back to sipping ginger tea. Perhaps it'll help with the slight nausea tickling the edges of my stomach.

The bone pains in my legs also returned last night, making me restless. I assume they'll get worse before they get better, but I'll stay on top of them with pain medication.

I'm suffering some terrible hot flashes. While I get the menopausal ones, these are more often, more severe and, leave my head and body dripping. Last night, while trying to go to sleep, I swear I had one every half hour. I'm on my third since rising at 6:30 this morning. Gross.

Worst of all, the crushing, depressing tiredness (aka the dementors) came back yesterday afternoon. With this feeling, I sit very still and stare at nothingness. I try to keep my mind and body busy, but sometimes it's hard. I get less enjoyment out of activities than I normally would.

I'm sick of this. I'm frustrated with fighting this damn cancer and I want it gone. I know I'm getting there, but it's hard. While my body is reacting better than the last round, the one immediately after surgery, I'm getting weary. I can't imagine being one of the poor cancer patients who deal with much longer, more intensive treatments than I am.

I'm thankful the current plan means I tolerate only two more treatments after I get through this week and the side effects don't last very long (although it's depressing when I'm right in the middle of them).

So I'm lucky. I have to focus on the good to help me get through the bad.

Tina