Heading upward

On my roller coaster of emotions, I started the upward climb again yesterday. My sister and I went out to lunch, and talked and talked and talked. Not about my illness, but about life. It was great. Besides, how could I be down when my belly was full of shwarma from Barakat and ice cream from the Marble Slab?

Then two dear friends visited last night for a good visit. Again, we talked and talked. Maybe I just needed some of the energy those two visits provided.

Last night, I was asked if cancer hurt. I'd never even contemplated that before. No, cancer itself doesn't hurt, which is why it can grow into big masses without the individual knowing about it. Now that I have tumours (that's right, say it like Arnold, TOO-murs), I think I can occassionally feel one in my abdomen. But then again, it could also be my overactive imagination now that I know they exist.

I think cancer hurts when it affects the functioning of other body parts. For example, when the fluid (ascities) built up in my abdomen and pressed against my stomach, ribs and back, that hurt.

I'm also excited because I'm heading into work today and I'll be able to see some of my friends and colleagues (whoever is around because I'm not crashing any meetings). I need to pick up some of my dressy summer shoes for a wedding I'm attending this weekend, which are in my desk.

My positive mood today reinforces the roller coaster analogy I used yesterday (not to be confused with the roller coaster of investing for all those who worked on that concept with me). I know Michael is on that roller coaster with me, and I suspect some of my friends have also joined us for the ride.

Unfortunately, it's going to be bumpy, but we'll get through this together.

Tina