I know I should be happy. The tumours are gone, the future is looking brighter and my bowels started moving. But I feel really sad.
I think I'm tired. Tired of laying in this bed, tired of being a pin cushion, tired of things going wrong.
I can only type with one hand because they had to put an I.V. in the crook of the one arm yesterday and it keeps beeping at me this morning. So I have to leave it in one position as I type with my right hand.
A nurse just made a comment as I returned from the bathroom with my gown flapping, "you check your dignity in during admitting and we give it back to you when you're discharged." That feels about right.
So, I had a little cry this morning. Maybe it's just the time to feel sad.
Tina
Tina,
ReplyDeleteHang in there honey. Hospitals tend to do that to people and its normal to feel sad and out of control while you are there. Don't expect so much from yourself, give your body a chance to heal and then you will be back to your normal cheerful self. Better things are yet to come and you are going to be healthy to experience all of them. Hopefully you will get to go home today as it is always more cheerful to recover in your own bed, with your own stuff surrounding you.
I love you and am sending cheerful thoughts your way. You have A LOT of people out there cheering for you and it`s time to draw on their strength.
Listen to your very wise sister, my dear friend. Things will get better, but you need to give your body a chance to get better. Give in to the fact that it may not be as fast as your mind would like it to be and don't fight it.
ReplyDeleteYour "village" is behind you all the way -- let us be your strength and carry the ball for a while.
Love to you all,
Kath & kids
Hey there, hon... I am right behind Angie and Katherine. Hang in there. Remember when you were first diagnosed you told us all you were learning to live day to day. This is one of those days...one step at a time. Slow and steady wins the race.
ReplyDeleteWith this surgery and by the grace of God and the wonderful work of your doctors, you are looking at a bright future.
I am sending you a separate email as I was drawn this morning to something I think was meant for you today, to lift your spirits.
Love you...