Today was a tough day. I didn't continue to get better (that's the way it's supposed to work in my mind) but instead got worse. I've slept most of the day away because it feels too awful to stay awake.
My incision is fine and I'm able to get up, walk and move around. But my hemoglobin level dropped to 75. It has to be at least 100 for me to have chemo. The doctor knew my body wouldn't recover in time for chemo so he ordered me two pints of blood. They've just finished transfusing into my body and now I'm getting calcium due to low levels.
Because of my low hemoglobin level, I've felt tired and nauseous all day. I've also had a terrible headache. And no, I haven't produced a BM.
I never through I'd be praying for poop - and writing about it for the world - but that's part of the journey. I know I'd feel a whole lot better, if my body would start working normally again. I do not like drinking Milk of Magnesia, but I do it. It's amazing what you will do to help yourself recover.
I just finished puking up everything (not much) I've consumed today. I'm angry. I'm angry my body isn't cooperating. I want to cry angry tears right now. But I'm not. Perhaps, I'll just try taking another trip to the bathroom instead.
Let's get this train turned around. I don't like being on this crazy, backward train. I'd rather be on the I-feel-better-and-am-ready-to-go-home train. But I'm not going to rush things either. I'll go home when I'm ready to go home.
Sharing the journey with you,
Tina
Girlfriend..you are so entitled to feel angry. Very natural emotions. And you are right...you will go home, when your body is ready to send you home. Don't you worry...you will be home before you know it!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there....I will see you tomorrow!!
Love you
R