Friday, June 5, 2009

Unbreakable spirit

Cannot defeat the soul
cannot shatter hope
cannot depress faith
cannot destroy homes
cannot limit humanity
cannot kill friendships
cannot silence courage
cannot ruin the soul
cannot reduce the spirit
can be overcome . . .
Cancer

I received a coin with this saying in the mail yesterday from kind friends, Reg and Cheryl Fickling. Reg, bless his soul, had the coin and a photo of me with my surgeon blessed. I feel thankful for support in many forms, and as a believer in God, this action really touched my heart.

Because of my faith, I feel somehow better about my surgery knowing my surgeon has been blessed - especially since he's the one doing the cutting while I lay there and sleep.

I will also carry the coin around with me. I think in my heart I believe and live these principles, but it never hurts to be reminded:

My soul and my spirit are completely separate from cancer. Like I said before, I'm still Tina and the cancer is an illness with which I must deal, but doesn't define who I am in my soul and spirit.

While cancer can sometimes test my hope and my faith, it isn't destroying them. There are days when I wonder - Why me? Why do I have this burden? Can I really beat this? - but luckily most days I feel positive. I have to admit, I've also been angry at God because I (and my family and friends) don't deserve this burden. But again, these thoughts are short lived.

For me, cancer has increased my faith in humanity, improved my friendships and strengthened my home life. A serious diagnosis can make or break these relationships. Mine are better, stronger and more loving. It's made me realize people, in all their goodness and kindness, and my relationships with them are far more important than material objects, disagreements in the past or my work. They provide the strength that sustains me. I believe cancer has changed these relationships for the long term. So it's a good outcome.

Finally, cancer cannot silence courage and can be overcome. I am scared. I fear my treatments won't work or my surgery won't be able to remove the cancer. But I face my chemo and the operation with courage and optimism. It's all I can do. I won't lie down and roll over. That's not me. I'm going to fight, as long and as hard as I can. If that's courageous, then I am.

And I have to believe my cancer can be overcome. I'm not ready to leave this world, and all it has to offer, just yet.

Enjoy this sunny Friday and all it has to offer you.
Tina

4 comments:

  1. wow,,, what a fabulous blog for a sunny Friday... you rock baby!!! Have a great day xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I woke up this morning looking for your blog, and it wasn't there. I was going to text you a message...Its become a habit to read your blogs.

    What a beautiful blog today. It is so amazing to have the goodness of people around you who love you and pray over you during this hard time. It certainly is an awesome sign that your surgeon has been blessed. I love the saying on your coin. Its very strong! Just like you!

    I miss you deeply, my dear friend and wish everyday that I was closer to you...

    Sometimes there are things that happen in our lives that make us just HALT and realize what is important to us...for each of us, our battles are different. Yet, the strength and courage to get through these tough times are drawn from our faith and positivity as we get up each and every day.

    As Dory would say in "Finding Nemo"...Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    YOU WILL WIN THIS BATTLE!!

    I love you...
    Have a wonderful day in the sunshine (its raining here!)...
    Rachna

    ReplyDelete
  3. You go girl!!

    Good things really do happen to good people.

    Thanks you every day for all that you do to inspire us, and give us the strength to look into ourselves, and believe in what we see.

    You will win this battle. It may be a long journey, but you are strong, and resilent, and kind, and generous, and loving. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that drawing strength from your faith, and the people around you will give you what you need to grow old gracefully.

    I love you with all my heart.

    Rock on darlin!!

    Jane

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tina: I've been in Calgary on business for a few days -- run off my feet and am only now catching up on your blog. I continue to be amazed at your courage, your resiliance and your positive outlook. You're right -- your soul and spirit are what keep you going, along with the blessing of faith, friends and family.

    You'll beat this -- there's way too much living to do yet.

    Love,
    Kath -- who's hoping to get down there next month to visit!

    ReplyDelete