Preadmission

According to the hospital, I'm ready for my surgery next week because I attended my preadmission appointment yesterday morning (three hours!). Mentally, I think I'm there. Of course, every night as I try to go to sleep, I think about my operation and how I'll manage the recovery process.

I want this done and over with so I can move on. The worst should come the day after surgery when the wound is fresh, I'm actually conscious, the hospital staff teach me how to get out of bed without using my ab muscles and get me up to walk, etc. But then I'm on the road to recovery and each day should be better than the one before. That's what I'm hoping anyway.

During my appointment, I was fitted for TEDs - special socks to prevent dangerous blood clots. I'll wear these thigh high socks, which will be hooked up to a pump that will inflate every 20 to 60 second to pump the blood back up to my heart. Apparently, they feel like a massage, but I'll see. Right now it sounds like it'd be annoying and prevent me from getting any sleep. To top it off, the socks are supposed to be hard to get on and off - sounds constricting. Oh well, I think they'll be the least of my worries and once I get up and walking around, they can come off.

The nurse said the surgery is about three hours and then I'll spend about three hours in the recovery room before being moved up to my hopsital room. Sounds like a long day hanging out in the hospital for my poor family. Of course, I'll be taking a long nap that day and probably will be fairly groggy from the anaesthesia and pain medication into the night.

My anticipated length of stay is three to five days, with day one being the Thursday. So I should be home early the following week, barring any complications (heaven forbid).

My recovery time will be at least four months. For the first six weeks, I can't lift anything over 10 lbs. vacuum or do any exercises that will strain my abdominal muscles (whatever is left). For the following three months, I can't lift anything heavier than 20 lbs.

Yesterday, a research nurse asked if I'd be willing to provide my tumours for research into the cause and treatment of cancer. I told her they could have whatever they wanted if it could help me or other women. I honestly don't understand why someone wouldn't provide consent.

So, the surgery is a week tomorrow and I'm cramming in lots of activity between now and then. I'm trying not to freak out about it, although it's hard as I try to shut my mind down for bed. The social worker yesterday said I had a good attitude because I was so positive. But I have to be to get through this.

I'd appreciate it if you would keep me in your thoughts and prayers, especially next Wednesday.

Tina